I participated in an Egg Hunt today (not that kind of egg hunt unfortunately) and was very dissatisfied when I found that I had only come away with 14 pounds of jelly beans. I put a lot of elbows into a lot of children’s faces to get those eggs, I was expecting much better loot. There are millions of things that can fit inside the space of a tiny plastic egg. Here are 69 alternatives:
1- A winning raffle ticket
2- A condom
3- A business card for a good masseuse
4- A skittle
5- A piece of hockey puck
6- A lucky penny
7- A stegosaurus sticker
8- A mosquito stuck in sap containing stegosaurus DNA
9- A newfound faith in the resurrected Christ
10- A drum key
The remaining fifty-nine possibilities after the jump…
11- A silver dollar
12- A slice of Münster cheese
13- A slice of tomato
14- A piece of lettuce
15- A chuck of chicken cutlet
16- Some mayonnaise
17- Some caesar dressing
18- A folded piece of bread
19- A second folded piece of bread
20- A small liquid portion of Alex Mac
21- A magical jelly bean
22- My phone number (ladies)
23- DJ’s phone number (guys)
24- A very tiny map
25- A second smaller plastic egg
26- A chicken fetus
27- Fat Val Kilmer
28- A chunk of a winning baseball
29- A Genie
30- A shot of whiskey
31- One winning lotto number
32- A second winning lotto number
33- A third winning lotto number
34- A fourth winning lotto number
35- A fifth winning lotto number
36- A sixth winning lotto number (you did it!)
37- A fortune
38- A Chinese to English word translation
39- A tinier wooden doll
40- Silly putty
41- A packet of fancy catsup
42- A spongey alligator that you could leave in water and eventually develop into a bigger spongey alligator
43- Chuck E. Cheese tokens
44- A smooth rock
45- A chicken wing
46- Someone’s ashes
47- A paint sample square
48- AA batteries
49- A vile of cologne
50- A puff of hookah smoke
51- A packet of duck sauce
52- An arrowhead
53- A birthday candle that re-lights itself
54- A baby leprechaun
55- A few pieces of Cinnamon Toast Crunch
56- Invisible Jelly Beans
57- A water proof match
58- A completed crossword puzzle
59- A zip drive with Neil Young’s discography
60- A rabbit’s foot
61- Unraveled video tape
62- Creamy nougat filling
63- A MetroCard
64- A blue ribbon
65- Brett Favre’s autograph
66- A curly fry with cheese and bacon on it
67- A slip of paper with the web address smartassradio.com
68- Bleu Cheese
69- A virus that would eradicate the human race
So, once again, I have proven I can think of a list of random words and phrases. What would your top ten Easter Egg finds be?!?! Comment below!
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