As many of you have read in my previous posts, I have, in the past, been involved with Barbadian pop singer Rihanna. Sadly, our relationship was short lived- I wanted to take things slow and Rihanna, still young and frisky, was overly eager and moving too quickly for my taste. While we still talked with some regularity, we began to drift apart. Eventually, Rihanna met her new beau, Chris Brown. I was happy for her of course, and was glad she had finally found someone more compatible. I hadn’t really given the whole thing a second thought until this week when I found out Mr. Brown had criminally assaulted Ms. Fenty (the last name isn’t as attractive) leaving her bruised, cut and choked unconscious. Needless to say I was up in arms over the entire thing and took it as a call to action. So, I talked to Rihanna on AIM three days after hearing about it. Conversation below (Rihanna’s screen name is EllaEllaElla88 and mine is MintPsyzique71).
MintPsyzique71: Hey Rihanna, how’s it going? : )
EllaEllaElla88: Who is this???
MintPsyzique71: It’s Roy
MintPsyzique71: Remember? From the duck pond?
EllaEllaElla88: Ohhhhhhhhhhhh
EllaEllaElla88: Hey Roy!! It’s been such a long timeee
MintPsyzique71: I know right?
EllaEllaElla88: What have you been up to?
MintPsyzique71: Oh, you know….not to much. Just trying to enjoy myself….
MintPsyzique71: …if you know what I mean… ; )
EllaEllaElla88: hahahahahahaha
EllaEllaElla88: You’re so weird, I miss your wacky, off-the-cuff witticisms!
MintPsyzique71: I’m not surprised.
EllaEllaElla88: So are you still working on making your own brand of peanut butter crackers?
MintPsyzique71: Nah, I gave that up. I couldn’t figure out how to get the crackers to taste like peanut butter.
EllaEllaElla88: Yeah, that seems like the hardest step in that process.
MintPsyzique71: Totally, it was.
MintPsyzique71: brb
EllaEllaElla88: Hello?
EllaEllaElla88: Oh, sorry, I didn’t see the “brb”
EllaEllaElla88: BRB would be a good song name….
EllaEllaElla88: Where are youuuuu??????
MintPsyzique71: Hey, sorry, I had to go to the gym.
EllaEllaElla88: Ohhhhh LOL
EllaEllaElla88: I was like….its been nearly an hour where is he????
MintPsyzique71: ha.
EllaEllaElla88: How was the gym?
MintPsyzique71: It was fine, I just lifted a lot of weights and did a bunch of push ups.
MintPsyzique71: The usual.
EllaEllaElla88: Sounds hotttt. ; )
MintPsyzique71: It was
MintPsyzique71: So, what have you been up to recently?
EllaEllaElla88: Well I was suppose to sing at the Grammy awards last week but Chris beat the shit out of me and choked me until I went unconscious and I had to go to the hospital. Now there are a bunch of rumors circulating and lawsuits are pending…. : /
MintPsyzique71: Oh right, I meant to talk about that in the very beginning
MintPsyzique71: haha, I can’t believe I forgot to bring it up
EllaEllaElla88: hahaha, no worries
MintPsyzique71: So, are you like…doing ok and shit?
EllaEllaElla88: Yeah, I mean, I guess considering…
MintPsyzique71: Oh, sweet.
MintPsyzique71: So, you been doing anything else?
EllaEllaElla88: Umm…well that’s really been taking up a lot of time and everything.
MintPsyzique71: Yeah, I guess that makes sense.
EllaEllaElla88: Oh, I saw Slumdog Millionaire.
MintPsyzique71: uggggh, that movie stunk.
EllaEllaElla88: I know right!?
MintPsyzique71: It’s all like…”blah blah blah I’m working my way up the social ladder….blah blah….I’d like to ask the audience….blah blah…I have no mother or father….zzzz”
EllaEllaElla88: hahahahahahahahahahhaha
EllaEllaElla88: ROFL!!!!
MintPsyzique71: Listen, Rihanna…
EllaEllaElla88: ?
MintPsyzique71: Do you want to maybe get coffee or something sometime?
EllaEllaElla88: Roy, you know I don’t like coffee
EllaEllaElla88: You don’t even like coffee
MintPsyzique71: haha
MintPsyzique71: God, you’re attractive
EllaEllaElla88: :::blushes:::
MintPsyzique71: No coffee then…what do you say I come over with some milk, some peanut butter and some crackers?
MintPsyzique71: We’ll see where the night takes us…
EllaEllaElla88: That sounds great : )
EllaEllaElla88: I’ve got a movie we could watch, ever seen Terminator 3?
MintPsyzique71: Yuck no, that movie blows.
EllaEllaElla88: Oh…I’ve also got Dumb and Dumber or Swiss Family Robinson
MintPsyzique71: mhmm….I’m not really in the mood for Jeff Daniels and I just watched Swiss Family Robinson a couple days ago….so no
EllaEllaElla88: Alright, well we don’t need to watch a movie.
MintPsyzique71: Yeah, let’s not.
EllaEllaElla88: Oh, I also have Mean Girls
MintPsyzique71: oooo. That could work. Is it on DVD?
EllaEllaElla88: No VHS…
MintPsyzique71: Oh forget it then
EllaEllaElla88: I’m just kidding it’s on DVD
EllaEllaElla88: I’ve made three platinum records and released five #1 singles. Of course it’s on fucking DVD!
MintPsyzique71: hahahahahahahahahah!!!!!
EllaEllaElla88: lolololololol!!!!!
MintPsyzique71: hahahahaha ROFL!!!!!!!
EllaEllaElla88: I am literally laughing my ass off!!!!!
MintPsyzique71: Me too!!!hahahahha
EllaEllaElla88: I can’t believe you fell for that!!!!!!!
MintPsyzique71: I can’t believe I did either!!!!
EllaEllaElla88: hahahahahaha
MintPsyzique71: I literally am peeing on myself right now!!!!!
EllaEllaElla88: hahaha ME TOO!!!!
MintPsyzique71: really?!?!?! hahahaha
EllaEllaElla88: YES I’M PEEING ON MYSELF!!!!!!
MintPsyzique71: hahahahahahAHAHAHAHAHA
EllaEllaElla88: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!!!!!!!!!!
MintPsyzique71: Ok, so
EllaEllaElla88: yeah?
MintPsyzique71: I guess I’ll come over at like 9? Is that cool?
EllaEllaElla88: Yeah sure.
MintPsyzique71: Can you pick me up, I don’t have my car up here.
EllaEllaElla88: no problem.
MintPsyzique71: cool.
MintPsyzique71: ok, well I guess I’ll see you around 8?
EllaEllaElla88: I thought it was 9?
MintPsyzique71: Oh right….um let’s make it 8
EllaEllaElla88: 8 it is.
MintPsyzique71: sweet. I’ll see you later alligator
EllaEllaElla88: Bye Roy, see you soon.
MintPsyzique71: Wear something nice, ok?
EllaEllaElla88: obvi.
MintPsyzique71: Remember that time you tricked me into thinking you owned Mean Girls on VHS and not DVD?
EllaEllaElla88: yeah, lol.
MintPsyzique71: that was so funny.
EllaEllaElla88: yeah it was.
MintPsyzique71: Remember when we both peed our pants/
EllaEllaElla88: well, I peed my skirt.
MintPsyzique71: Oh gross.
EllaEllaElla88: Yeah, I should clean that off.
MintPsyzique71: Likewise.
EllaEllaElla88: see you later.
MintPsyzique71: peace
***Author’s Note: Due to an sudden and dramatic cramp in my left shoulder I had to cancel on Rihanna. Though, we have made tentative plans to go hiking this weekend.
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