Barack “Dufresne” Obama
This Cinderella-story of the presidential election has finally (two months ago) come to a close. For the first time in our nation’s history we might be able to say that the 2008 race was the most triumphant and simultaneously darkest election in history. However, for me, the Chach, there still seems to be some loose ends. Anyone else notice those signs at a Barack Obama rally in Ann Arbor, Michigan that read “Dufresne ‘08”? Or what about that sign at a rally in Tallahassee, Floridia that read “Brooks Was Here”? My apologies to Barack in advance. But I can no longer in good conscious let this political stunt slide.
Not OK.
Many who hear Obama speak really connect with his words. People could swear that while these political lines are original, they have heard them somewhere before. Well, you have. The cat’s out of the White House folks. Barack Obama lifted his whole campaign from the movie Shawshank Redemption. While addressing a crowd in Portland, Maine, Obama stated that “Remember, hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies!” Ring any bells, Tim Robbins lovers? When asked why he wasn’t worried about that economy in Billings, Montana, the first Hawaiian president-elect announced that “there are places in the world that aren’t made out of stone, that there’s something inside that they can’t get to, that they can’t touch. It’s yours.”
In addition, one New Yorker asked Obama what specifically made him a better candidate than his opponent John McCain. The first half white president-elect responded by stating “you have to get busy living or get busy dying. And that other candidate is like seventy fucking years old.” I know everyone is totally amped for Barack’s inaugural speech. But here’s the truth, fellas. You can hear that shit four times a day on TBS. I’m sure the speech will go a little something like this:
“My fellow Americans. I hope and hope and hope! I believe in two things: discipline and the Bible. Here you’ll receive both. I am like some beautiful bird flapped into our drab little cage and made these walls dissolve away, and for the briefest of moments, every last man in America will feel free. Brooks WAS here! I find I’m so excited, I can barely sit still or hold a thought in my head. I think it’s the excitement only a free man can feel, a free man at the start of a long journey whose conclusion is uncertain. I hope. Understand America, I am a man that knows how to get things! Brooks WAS here! Some birds aren’t meant to be caged. America is that bird! Our feathers are just too bright. And when we fly away, the world will know it was a sin to lock us up and rejoice! I hope. I hope. I hope. Brooks WAS here. Thank you. Hope.”
06/24/2009
[...] socialites who read this blog. This one may be a first though. I’ve compared Barack Obama to Andy Dufresne, a shitbag D.A. to Louie Anderson, etc., but I’ve never encountered a douche so awful it [...]