This past weekend I thought I would have the pleasure of watching one of my favorite actors, Jim Carrey, tell great jokes in a really funny way. If you saw the show then you might realize that at least one part of that expectation is incorrect. Comedy experts, Daniel Joe and I, are going to breakdown the episode and try to determine where SNL went wrong with their first show of 2010 2011.

Bit One: Jim Carrey’s Monologue

DJ: The monologue was ok, I guess. I remember thinking something about it was lame or unfunny, but honestly the whole thing was pretty forgettable.
Roy: Jim Carrey had a lot of positive attitude. It was like four days ago, so it’s fuzzy. Carrey made fun of someone’s boobs? Oh, then he proposed to an actress in the audience. I think she was an actress. The thing was that he is really rich, so why would she ever say no? Because she was already married. So Carrey decided to go with the guy with boobs.

Bit Two: Black Swan

DJ: I remember the ballerina who wasn’t Jim Carrey was extremely attractive. Is she a cast member? Jim Carrey brought the HaHas on this one. He was absolutely crazy, had buffalo wings tattooed on his back.  Bill Hader was kind of a retard though.  B-

Roy: Oh, are we rating them now? Yeah, this bit was funny. Jim Carrey reminded me of Ace Ventura, so Cha-Ching. I mean, come on, a grown man in a ballerina costume? That is funny. Did anything else happen? Oh! Jim Carrey licked Bill Hader’s ear. And that’s gay, and gay is funny.  B-

Bit Three:  Grady Wilson’s Tantric n’ Tasty

DJ: Glad to see Keenan settling into his spot on the cast. Sometimes these things just take the better part of a decade. No need to rush. The Grady Wilson tapes are always pretty funny. This one is no exception. It’s exactly pretty funny. I wish Jim Carrey would have gone with a different character – I want hyper weirdo Jim, not pretend-stoned Jim. 3/5

Roy: Yeah, I like my Jim Carrey physical comedy to be Extreme!! This was a perfect set up for Carrey to get freaky. The best one was the ‘sneaky baboon’ when Carrey kept jumping off and on a ladder set up in Wilson’s basement recording studio. Really silly. Really funny. 4/5.

Bit Four: Worst of Soul Train

DJ: I actually thought this was very funny. It started off a little slow, but by the time it got to Keenan and the… I’m blanking on the name, but it was funny. Jim Carrey was icing on the cake doing a really bizarre late 70s/early 80s song in some kind of wacky outfit. **** (4 out of 4 1/2 stars)

Roy: I thought this one sucked. I am not blaming Jim Carrey at all; I think he brought everything he could to his performance, but the writing sucked. I specifically blame the Lonely Island guys on the writing staff who can’t seem to go an episode without singing something stupid. If they are going to keep that up they need to start writing funnier, more original lyrics. These weren’t funny. Jim Carrey had a lot of energy though, so that’s funny. 19 out of 20 Andy Sambergs.

Bit Five:  Amusement Park Ride

DJ: Amusement Park Ride? What? When did this happen?

Roy: The Amusement Park Ride!!, that was the best one the entire night!!

DJ: I honestly don’t have any recollection of a bit based around an amusement par-oh wait. Yeah, this one was funny. Keenan, The guy who’s not Bill Hader and Jim Carrey were very funny.

Roy: Yeah, they should have just called this the “Keenan and Jim show. ” In this instance Jim Carrey was doing some really funny physical comedy.

DJ: If I HAD to rate it, I’d give it 5/5 Orange Sodas. No, wait. That’s Kel’s thing.

Roy: I would give it 10/10 “Aww, here it goes!” I’m hungry. DJ, are you hungry?

Bit Six: Fortune Teller

DJ: I’m starving. What are you in the mood for? A lot of places are probably closed. I’d do Chile’s if it’s open.

Roy: Chile’s would be pretty outrageous, but you know? What else does a snow-day call for but outrage? So, yeah, I could do Chile’s. Or we could do something simpler. Do you think we’ll be able to make our way out of this igloo? (Jim Carrey did some impressions, whatever.) I would give this 1 out of 2 lunch options.

The Black Keys:

DJ: They blew. Yeah, we’ll probably have to shovel the car out. We should have a backup if Chile’s is closed. I want to nominate Five Guys with Applebee’s as a total last resort.

Roy: Agreed. The Black Keys stunk. Let’s get a shovel.

Finally, a genius journalist and undercover mastermind – myself – has infiltrated the juggalo ranks, posing as one of their own, to get inside look at their silly shenanigans. If you thought it looked bad from the outside, well then, digest this scoop from the inside.

This has 5,500,000 hits.

Now, I’m no juggalo. I’m not retarded, inbred, or obese, and I don’t have a hatchet man tattoo; so it was no small task for me to blend in with their kind. It was like when that white dude wore blackface in the south and wrote Black Like Me, only less racist and I didn’t wear facepaint.

Read more »

Every week, one of us picks an album and all four of us has to review it. It’s not necessarily a new release, just something that one of us is into. This week we’re reviewing “Snakehouse” by The Cliks.

Here’s the album art and track listing (links are to youtube videos of songs):

“Complicated“ “Cry Me a River” (Justin Timberlake Cover) “Misery“ “Eyes In the Back of My Head“ “Soul Back Driver” “Start Leading Me On“ “Whenever” “Oh Yeah“ Nobody Else Will“ “Back In Style“

Check out the reviews after the jump…

Read more »

We proudly present to you the second in our “Collective Criticism” series. This week we have three reviews of the recent collaboration between alt-rock guitar heroes Omar Rodriguez-Lopez and John Frusciante. It doesn’t seem to have a title. Also, it was picked by Felix.

Read more »

Hey everyone, I got reminded tonight that I don’t agree with opinions you find on the website pitchfork media, which I will not link to. What happened was I had just finished reading DJ’s most recent post, which I have no problem linking to, and I clicked the link at the bottom. It brought me here. From there I went here. Both those links provide the general sentiment of our staff toward those…those…I don’t even have a word for what they are. I will settle for dickforks.

Anyway, tomorrow (today for you) is pretty much Pitchfork’s Christmas: the one day they can express their criticisms on the entire year. Yep, it’s Pitchfork’s release of their 20 Top Albums of 2010. Notice the difference in rhetoric employed in my title versus theirs. Top of what? You own list? Let me check the definition of “top” as an adjective. OK, they probably mean this one: foremost, chief, or principal. Those guys are so obsessed with their own opinions of themselves. Whatever, this isn’t about them; this is about me.

I plan on drinking tonight by the way. It’s a Thursday night- the only reason I’m doing this is that Pitchfork’s silly numbering shit comes out tomorrow and I want my opinion out first. Also I want to predict what Pitchfork’s list will be and see if I’m close. I think it will probably look like this:

10) No Age, 9) Ariel Pink, 8 ) Robyn, 7) Deerhunter, 6) Big Boi, 5) Joanna Newsom, 4) Arcade Fire, 3) LCD Soundsystem, 2) Beach House,1) Kanye West

Read more »

This year the opening credits to Saturday Night Live open with Jewish me, Fred Armisen. Quite like me, Fred is seen leafing through a box of vinyl records, presumably in New York City. It is clear that the record store is not very organized because the titles are ordered PEARL JAM, SEX PISTOLS, JOY DIVISION. The closest sensible reason I can think of for that way of alphabetizing is that the second word in the second pair begins with the first letter of the first word in the first pair and the third pair begins with the first letter of the second word in the first pair, but that pattern doesn’t continue unless you replace Joy Division with someone like Joe Satriani, which is obviously stupid because why would Fred Armisen listen to him? Pearl Jam and the Sex Pistols seem like viable options, especially because Fred has been known to guest star in quirky and fun little indie music videos, which I will not link to.

If you stick with me you will be replaying this video a lot. Don’t worry the 2009 version still applies.

Read more »

Since Smartass Radio originally started as a vehicle to take me backstage at shows for free, it makes sense that we turn our attention to music every once in a while. And seeing as regular reviews kinda suck and only give you one person’s opinion on a particular piece of music, we decided it would be good if we chose an album every week and everyone had to review it. These aren’t going to necessarily be new releases, just something that one of us decided all four of us should listen to.

This week someone chose Steeple, Wolf People’s second record this year. Go illegally download the album (you were going to anyway) and listen to it while we force feed you our opinions.
Read more »