DJ’s Crusade Against Social Injustices Part 1: Midgets
As a college aged, middle class white male living on Long Island, it comes as no surprise that I tend to align myself with those who are somehow disenfranchised or slighted by society. This will hopefully be a continuing series where I attempt to end prejudice of every kind whenever it affects my life in a way I can easily write about. The first part, as you can hopefully read, is about midgets. Thinking about “reading” makes me wonder if Part 2 will be about the blind. Maybe it will be an mp3 of me reading what I would have posted.
Last night I found myself trying not to fall asleep at the Radio City Christmas Spectacular, where atrocities of blog-worthy magnitude were committed. I can’t think of a single place where more groups of people were marginalized for such nonentertainment. Of course, it would be easy for me to point to the fact that there is only one black Rockette, or the antisemitic undertones of the entire show. But, for now at least, I turn my attention to a people who have always had it tough – midgets (I’m sure some of you Discovery Channel watching assholes are thinking “Little People! They’re called little people, DJ”, but I assure you, I can call them midgets because I slept with one once).
Little People by Fisher Price (TM)
“What the fuck do midgets have to do with the Radio City Christmas Whatever?” is undoubtedly what you asked yourself right after “What is the point of all this inane pontificating?”. Well, good reader, I’ll tell you what midgets have to do with the Radio City Xmas Bonanza. Everything. There were four of them, and of the four only two had speaking roles. Their first part was during a bizarre nutcracker medley where they were forced to awkwardly prance around in baby teddy bear costumes. Then, during a scene at the north pole, you guessed it – they were elves. The two with speaking parts, however, were not the usual nameless, voiceless elves we’ve all come to know and love. No, this lucky pair got minor speaking parts. And character names. And they were “Skittles” and “Pogo”. Skittles and Pogo. Skittles. And. Pogo.
I may be ahead of myself in assuming they were character names and not their actual names, but either way what the hell was anyone thinking in this situation? First of all, to name anything but a particularly randy female dog Skittles should be considered a felony. Skittles are delicious, acne causing treats, not human beings or even characters being played by human beings. And Pogo? I’m sure the idea of a pogo stick is quaint, if at all a part of the consciousness of 90% of the audience under the age of 20. As a name, it’s just plain dumb. I would be less irate if they had referred to them as Midget 1 and Midget 2 or “the one on the right” and “the other one”. But, I guess this is the life of the little actor.
This unbelievably stupid situation got me thinking about all the great midget actors through the ages, of which there are curiously none. Did you know a little person has never won the Best Actor OR Best Actress Academy Award? (And you thought you had it tough, black people.) So, in an effort to help my short-of-stature friends, I’ve decided to come up with a few ideas where their roles do not require them to play down to stereotypes, nor do they use their height in a farcical or ironic way. Check out Elf for examples of both kinds of exploitation. While cinematic gold, it does nothing to help the plight of the puny, who make up a large (number-wise) portion of the cast. Here are my ideas:
The first one I’m still working on a title for, but the basic premise is this: When the earth is under attack by a normal sized evildoer, five little people with the power to fuse into one, not unlike Voltron, are able to thwart him. Their weapons? Cunning and the ability to envision the world from the point of view of a belt loop.
The second one is a little less edgy, and more character-driven: Bethany is a little person living in a big world. She grows up and finds the love of her life in Herb, another little person. They grow up together and raise a family consisting of one regular sized daughter, one regular sized son and one little son (the outcast with a heart of 14 karat gold). The movie details the trials and tribulations of this uncommon situation. Oh wait, I already referenced that show.
My last idea is called Little Tommy Tinkle and it’s basically a children’s book/movie combo about potty training. It seemed like it fit here, but I just reread this post and it really just doesn’t. Sorry.
So, I hope I have enlightened you to some of the issues and concerns of those who are a part of the little person community, I most certainly not included. If we all work together toward a common goal of tolerance, maybe one day I won’t have to write driveling, barely cohesive blog posts about it. And maybe some shorter actors can get some better jobs.
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12/27/2008
Well you know what they say…There are no small parts, just four small actors. Ill props to the costume wizard who transformed a pair of kid’s foot locker Reeboks into teddy bear feet.
02/21/2009
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