I love metal. I also love chicks. Should be easy enough to combine the two, right? Wrong. Picking up chicks at metal shows is like finding a single needle in 8,000 haystacks. But don’t fret – your pal DJ is here to outline exactly how to go about picking up babes while banging your head.

This chick has another video about dressing like a metal chick. Her first piece of advice is “know the band on your shirt.” Great piece of advice.

I have boiled down the art of slaying metal pussy to 6(66) easy to remember steps. Here they are:

1. Show up Early: Showing up early serves a few purposes. First, you can get a good lay of the land before the venue fills up. You can use this time to find the bathroom (you’re going to be puking later), get situated at the bar and maybe even start talking up some ladies. Ultimately, anyone you talk to at this time is automatically out of contention. You’re going to say something stupid, but don’t fret – that’s the second reason to show up early. Get all the dumb shit you have to say out now. For example: “You know, I actually kinda like Avenged Sevenfold.”
2. Wear Cool Clothes: Everyone loves a guy in Affliction T Shirts. If you can find a pair of jeans with a dragon on them or some sort of stylized number, you’re totally in.
3. Get Drunk: Spiderman got bitten by a radioactive spider. Superman is an alien. You drink beer. Lots of it. Nothing is more attractive than a giant sweaty dude running around a mosh pit in between chugging brews. Nothing. Also, if you could start a fight, you’ll be ahead of the game. It’s just good for your karma to completely shut down any fun anyone in the pit might be having. Make sure you act like a huge sourpuss every time someone bumps into you and you’re in for a royal rumble.
4. Yell Loudly and Directly: It’s loud. You’re drunk. Hopefully she’s drunk. You’re gonna need to turn up the volume.
5. Talk Religion and Politics: There’s never a better time or place for these types of discussions than when someone is screaming and other people are watching and moshing.
6. Just pull it out. Worked for Pete Steele. Might work for you.

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