In The Know With Roy: Ospreys
Hello everyone. Many people, particularly those who live nearby water, have heard of an animal called the osprey. You may have even been lucky enough to have seen one of these birds of prey in action. Osprey’s are very cool and they are certainly a species that everyone could use more information on. To help inform the masses on these exciting animals I’ve decided to write this post. This is “In The Know” with Roy and this week’s topic is ospreys.
An osprey in a diving position.
The Osprey (scientifically referred to as Pandion haliaetus) is a diurnal, fish-eating bird of prey, alternatively dubbed the sea hawk. Birds of prey are also alternatively dubbed raptors. Unfortunately, the similarities between dinosaur raptors and bird raptors are not as plentiful as I would have hoped.
The average Osprey is about 24 inches long and has a wingspan of 6 feet. The plumage of the Osprey is a mix of grey, on the head and underbody, and brown on the upperbody. It also has black patches around its eyes.
Ospreys can live in a wide variety of habitats, so long as that environment is a near a body of water and there is an adequate food supply. They can be found on all continents, except Antarctica.
The Osprey’s diet consists almost exclusively of fish. The Osprey is the only hawk that hunts in water.
The word Osprey comes from the latin word Ossifragus which means “bone breaker.”
Many Ospreys’ wear sweatshirts with pictures of cartoon dogs on the front. Most of the time these sweatshirts are black or a navy blue. Most Osprey’s don’t wear under armor brand clothing.
Ospreys’ are interested in Barcelona street graffiti and other counter culture art movements. Ospreys’ catch fish between two sets of talons. You can rearrange the letters in “Osprey” to write “Esp. Roy,” which can mean especially Roy or that I have extra sensory perception.
Ospreys fuck in mid-air free falls, unlike most humans.
Alfred Hitchcock’s film “The Birds” was never going to be entitled “Osprey.”
Ospreys and bears have never meant, and the two species have no idea the other exists. However, Ashton Kutcher is planning a Punk’d prank where a bear catches an osprey sleeping with its wife. Episode air date: July 2009.
Unsurprisingly, Osprey’s love sushi.
If you are a horny Osprey who is looking for some cheap phone sex, you can call 1-800-OS-PLAY between the hours of 8pm-4am. Don’t call if you are a human, though, because you’ll only hear fake bird orgasms. Unless that is something you want to hear, then call.
Turkish cultures believed that Ospreys were guardians of volcanos and that they would ask riddles to any trespassers in the fire kingdoms. Ospreys are the national bird of the state of Washington. Ospreys’ favorite Lord of the Rings movie is the third one, but mostly just the battle scenes.
Ospreys’ Ipod broke.
Osprey’s look ridiculous with corn-rows. Osprey’s aren’t afraid of scarecrows and there is no such thing as a scareosprey.
And now you know.
