Irrefutable Evidence That Time Travel Can’t Exist
As much as it pains me to say, time travel is fucking impossible. I came to this conclusion at Roy’s parents house recently. I realized that if time travel ever existed, it always existed. Trippy, right? Anyway, the thing that made me realize this is that no one has completely dominated music (or really anything other art) 100%. If I could go back in time, I’d write and record every classic album like three weeks before the artist who actually wrote it.
Then I got to thinking about other things that would be different. Like how someone (probably me) would have shown up in 2005 to beat the living shit out of me before I ever had the chance to write the following LiveJournal update…
I’m going to go ahead and just blank out the names; no one should have to endure the embarrassment of being friends with me even a mere five years ago. Also, anything that’s bold was written today as commentary.
wut up livejournal?
Feb 23rd, 2005 10:57 AM
Mood: Accomplished
Music: beatles – rubber soul/revolver (they fit on one cd)
so long time no update
i don’t even know what to write
Well, that’s never stopped you before, asshole.
last night was a good night – k**** and i saw million dollar baby – excellent movie
the night before gf came over at like 4 and dropped me off at work then came back to work with like an hour til closing. she was so stunned at how well i handled customers and how much they liked me. after i closed, we met a***** at applebee’s and i had a ridiculous meal and it was good. the three of us went to a*****’s house and that was good times.
Way to keep it consistent. Start with the last thing you did and work backwards. Nothing screams “coherent thinker” like a boring, retarded version of “Momento”
the night or two before that we had a good night as well. we went to eat in pt jeff on our 11 month anniversary – we said we wouldn’t make a huge deal about our anniversaries and stuff but that’s pretty big. in a few weeks we will have been going out for a year. its always amazing thinking about how little we knew eachother then compared to now. luffs.
“Luffs” was our cutsie way of saying “love,” probably because we were too chickenshit to actually say anything that had any real meaning.
No offense to this guy, but this doesn’t seem all that difficult.
anyway – on with the night in pt jeff. i got a ring that fit me now and i luff it. and then we decided it would be good to go to huntington. it was ok, nothing to really do except go to coldstone – muy excellente.
Yup, nothing to do but eat 8,000 calories and sit around bitching about my dad. What? We didn’t get to that part yet?
then j**** called us wanting to be picked up so we picked her up and headed straight for the porno store in st james. that was interesting. we dropped her off and drove around for what seemed like a pretty long time. i could do that forever and be totally content.
This should have been the beginning of one of my best memories ever. Me, gf and J**** hangin in a porno store. Sure, we were just there as a goof, but after the 20th time I jokingly suggest someone shove a dildo up my butt it gets oddly tense…
none of these nights took place when my dad had me cause he’s such a prick – he’s never had a set curfew for me and i’ve never given him a reason to have one. but the past few months he’s been a total dick making me come in at 12. ‘i don’t want you galavanting aorund town after 12′ ‘that’s when you get into trouble’
That bitching about my dad I mentioned earlier. I still live with him.
anyway – k**** (ex-stepmom) is in texas so last night it was just me him and sean and he was so cool. i fucking hate k**** cause she makes him such a prick. on valentine’s day. after dinner, gf and i were driving around and i passed my dad’s old house. that house was so kickass. now i live in the most ridiculous house on 6th ave and i can’t stand it. i have a studio, a plasma tv, k**** has a lexus. and i hate it all. he is just like his dad. his dad got remarried to a fucking idiot that no one can stand when his mom died. all my dad and k**** wanna do is impress people and it doesn’t work.
I still despise this cunt, though if I were to explain it now it would come off a lot less simpleminded and lame. “They only care about STUFF, maaaaan.”
o yeah, i got into a few colleges – oswego, oneonta and the college of st rose (where i got a $7,000 a year scholarship)
Woah! Look out! This guy’s goin’ places! Like the corner to sling dope with the rest of the “students” at these “schools”.
that’s $28,000 total – my dad’s response ‘o that’s good cause me and your mother won’t be paying for all of that’ meanwhile my mom didn’t even want me to tell him so that i would have to pay $7,000 less, not them.
he really fucking aggravates me – can you tell?
No, what else don’t you like? Peas? The Boogey Man? Going to Kindergarten?
uhhhh
work has been going surprisingly well – Boss #1 and Boss #2 have been complementing my work and Other Guy‘s getting fired – fucking cokehead. he’s like 39 years old and he can’t be nice to customers, he can’t fucking handle lesson scheduling and he’s just stupid. o well.
Other Guy still works there.
is that good enough, gf?
loljkjk!!!1 See I only wrote it to appease my girlfriend! It was all made up! …I wish.
12/05/2010
HAHAHA. please…please share more, deej.