Ok I’m sure everyone and their senile grandmother knows about this story: Jdimytai Damour, a temp employee of Wal-Mart was trampled to death on black friday by an angry mob of Long Island douchebags. That is old news. However, this story brings to light some more facts I was peviously unaware of.
For starters, Jdimytai was 6’5″ and weighed 270 lbs. I’m 6’3″ and weigh about 230 and I consider myself relatively untrample-able. To put it in perspective, Alan Faneca, offensive lineman for the New York Jets and second highest paid lineman in NFL history is 6’5″ and comes in around 300 lbs. I can’t fathom that this poor guy got trampeled and someone wasn’t first squished in between him and the oncoming mob. This guy was a fucking wall!
What the FoxNews story (I hate referencing them, but they really have the most shit on these kind of sensational stories) also states is the mob-metality was caused by people cutting in line. CUTTING IN LINE?! To get INTO a Wal-Mart? I can safely say I never have to worry about that ever happening to me. The last time I went to Wal-Mart, I was with my little (but even more gigantic) brother picking up a birthday gift for my step-dad. My brother came out of the store, having only been in it for about 10 minutes with what appeared to be blood on his white shoes. BLOOD! Actually, it was probably some ketchup. Either way, what the fuck is going on at these stores?
Residents of Valley Stream, I suggest you all take the $400 plasma TVs, $.87 t-shirts, and $25 Wine Lover’s Bundles you got at your shitty Wal-Mart, sell them on Ebay (where human beings go for a fucking bargain) and give all that money to Jdimytai Damour’s family. THEN, those of you who are over the age of 18, head back down to that caution-taped shithole, pick up one of these, put it in your mouth and pull the trigger, you bunch of south shore animals. (I’d like to point out the fact that not all Long Islanders are the same, just an overwhelming majority).
Now that I’ve gotten that out of my system, I’d like to mention that I haven’t seen anyone compare Damour’s tragedy with this tragedy:
Christ almighty, what is my problem?