Nary a day goes by when I don’t lay eyes on a gorgeous woman, catch her eye, spill my ice cold soda on my lap and then never see her again. That’s when I turn to the classified ads on craigslist, specifically the “Missed Connections” section. I like to include a picture, to help jog my potential lover’s memory. Here are a few choice selections from the past few years. I can’t believe I’ve never gotten a response. Persistence is the key, I hear… in my head while I cry myself to sleep alone and cold in a big empty bed.
The results of many many “Missed Connections” posts.
I normally don’t do stuff like this, but I saw you at a party, you were wearing a skull t-shirt and I was wearing a skull t-shirt, weird right? I know you saw me because I drank a half a bottle of tequila and jumped off the roof. Get in touch!
I normally don’t do stuff like this, but you might recognize this picture better than my face. You thought it was funny at the time and you were wearing a purple scarf. It was outside J.C. Penney on Mother’s Day of last year. I’ll be at the petting zoo in the park tomorrow for a significant portion of the day (with my pants ON LOL) so meet me there or contact me here.
I’d be lying if I said “I normally don’t do stuff like this”, but what the heck. You were shampooing the gentleman next to me at the barber shop when I had this baby carved into my face. I caught you peeking a couple of times and blushing. Of course, you stopped blushing when I put my penis back in my pants, but either way I wish I would have approached you before I left. It’s just that that man’s scalp was really bleeding bad.
This is just weird, but I guess it never hurts to try right? I saw you in the ladies room before an Usher concert and right before I took this picture. We locked eyes for a split second before security dragged me out.
Update: Thinking back, it wasn’t an Usher concert, it was a house party and I’m pretty sure you were actually a dude. I hope you find this! Can a moderator please delete this?
You might remember this picture being taken of us. You also might not, right afterward I soaked a rag in chloroform, and we left the party together. Funny thing is, after that I remember probably about as much as you do.
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