Missed Connections are the most desperate, pathetic form of making contact with a potential sexual partner. “I saw you on the L train last Monday around 10 AM. I know you noticed me too, but I was too shy chickenshit to go up to you and strike up a conversation. So, here I am writing, more or less, to the idea of you, hoping that you’re as pathetic as I am. If you’re interested in meeting up reply to this anonymous email.”
There’s no way these ever work. MAYBE on a campus newspaper, but certainly not on the craigslist from a major city. I’m sure none of you remember Joel C. Marquette or even knew who he was to begin with. Click this link to refresh your memory and then follow me while I explore his trials and tribulations through the world of Missed Connections.
I was at your show the other night : ) – m4w 32 (Fernley)
Hey Rihanna! I was at your show in Carson City last night. I’m pretty sure you saw me, I was in the 48th row and was wearing a ski mask. Yeah! That was me! Anyway, I was hoping maybe we could grab a coffee or slice of pizza next time you’re in the area. Please email me at: firstname.lastname@example.org. Or, if you prefer, send a letter to:
Apartment Above China Chef
55 West Main Street
Fernley, NV 89408
Hope to hear from you soon!
We slept together the other night <3 – m4w 32 (Stowe, VT)
Hey, we got together and had sex in the parking lot of the Rusty Nail. I should probably be doing this over the phone, but the lack of eye contact during coitus really intimidated me. Anyway, I mostly wanted to let you know that I couldn’t have asked for a better first time and was wondering when I would see you again. If memory serves me correctly, you were about 6′ tall and wore a size 13 shoe. Please respond to this ad if you want to get rusty “nailed” again.
It happened in the Dallas/Ft Worth Airport – m4w 32 (Dallas, TX)
I was making my way to Arizona from Vermont and had a layover in Texas. I drank a half a martini and sat down in the waiting area. I fell asleep and completely missed my connection. I’m hoping a representative from Southwest Airlines will read this and help me resolve this issue. It’s been a week and I’m actually still in the airport trying to make sense of everything. I mean, I was only asleep for 2 hours, how did this happen? And why didn’t anyone wake me up?