Plants: A People Uprooted
The Swiss Government’s “Ethics Committee on Non-Human Biotechnology” has recently released a report entitled “The Dignity of Living Begins With Regard to Plants.” The twenty-four page expose proposes the notion that plants have some rights of their own. The committee purports that snipping a road-side wildflower for no reason is actually an immoral decapitation.
After reading the report several times and sharing its insights with my friends and family, I was left dumbstruck. How these injustices were tolerated for so many generations is unfathomable and, frankly, sickening. A potato has eyes, corn has ears and cabbages come by the head; so why were these plants denied the most basic human rights? I believe the time has come for America to recognize the rights flora and fauna deserve. If there is anything president-elect Barack Obama has shown us, it is that the clear majority of the east and west coasts of these United States of America are a land of moderate tolerance. If we are progressive enough to elect a Hawaiian president, I see no reason why we can’t make a vocal push for plant’s equality.
Still, history has shown us that when any minority group makes its bid for equality there are bound to be some snags along the way. In the coming months plants might encounter some treacherous obstacles as they are integrated into our social brotherhood. The impact of accepting plants into our culture will be ubiquitous. Proposals of universal health care would now have to be curtailed to include provisions for pruning, watering and woodpecker-relief. America would have a whole new work force that will have to be absorbed; though, this may also create a positive decline in illegal immigration dependance. Welfare efforts would have to be made to insure forest infrastructures stay stable and gardens do not become impoverished ghettos.
As a nation we need to anticipate these transitional changes. The social difficulties are easy to hypothesize. One is forced to ask: will the lunch-time celery stick be left alone all recess, sighing by the tire swing? Will the disproportionate majority of prison-inmates soon become red-onions and bruised eggplants? Will the sixty-two year old palm tree never get the promotion she deserves? Will we soon see nasty symbols burned into the sidewalks outside our local florists? Will ‘veggie’ become a racial slur?
No, not likely.
The difference with plants is they are so easily acceptable. They’re not threatening, exotic or untraditional. They’re home-grown, healthy and time-tested. Plants are as appealing as straight-A’s, straight couples and long, white, protestant legs. I think Americans (real Americans) will except vegetables with vigor.
Though, I admit, there is a lot of tragic history that needs to be reconciled. Who can forget the countless, nameless trees burned to death in the flames of wild fires caused by a rogue cigarette butts? It may not be an issue that resonates with you, but think of the saplings that are now orphaned. Then there is the slavery that has taken place in our own homes. Wild flowers and herbs domesticated and forced to live, sleep and die in tiny pots, oftentimes covered in dirt. Then there is the vile segregation seen in any supermarket’s produce section, but that’s a whole other bag of worms. There is an immense history that needs to be confronted and addressed before any change can take place.
The empowerment of plants is going to be an uphill battle, but if there is anything president-elect Barack Obama has taught us it is that being hopeful pays off. Some plants might find the transition easy, possibly even delightful. The Baobabs and Bonsais might not be initially accepted to the community country club, but the handsome Dogwoods, Chestnuts and Oaks will undoubtedly be invited to play a game of 9-hole. And maybe not the tiger-lilies and birds of paradise, but the old roses, heathers and violets will find comfort and comradery at the library’s bi-weekly Krazy Quilters meeting. As for the pair of pears looking to join stems in holy (but gay) matrimony, the outlook is not so good.
It might take America a few decades/amendments to tolerate the presence of kumquats, kiwis and kudzu, but eventually people will catch on (one can assume).
