Snood: Tetris for Retards
If you’re my age or a little older you know that Snood is a knockoff of the classic Bubble Bobble derivative, Bust-a-Move. However, when the great Snood boom of 1996 hit the Internet a with a viral force researchers compare to that of Elf Bowling and Hampster Dance combined. (While I’m on the subject, why would HampsterDance.com have any other content but the original? Talk about not knowing your audience…) So, back to the matter at hand. It is absolutely mind boggling that people are still playing Snood. You can play thousands of shitty games online for free and yet it seems people (in my analysis it’s always girls) are still playing Snood.
It has come to my attention that some fortunate people out there may be completely in the dark about Snood. Such as @Mahaviraband who asked “what is ‘snood’???”. My dear friend this is Snood:
The basic idea is that you have to get 3 of the same faces to touch and then it knocks them and anything below them off. You have to clear the board in a certain number of moves as the brick wall lowers throughout the game. It’s a ridiculously simple puzzle game which take about 4-5 seconds to completely master and get over.
Back in the day at Ye Olde Guitar Asylum Hauppauge (wuttup LI?), we had a student who’s name escapes me (Vannessa? Like it matters.), who was so obsessed with the game she talked about it ad nauseum. Her nickname then became (and stayed for four years) “Snood.” While she was a total pro, I don’t think anyone was ever as good as my sister who had a PAID SUBSCRIPTION. To give you a bit of my sister’s gaming background, her favorite console game of all time was Diddy Kong racing, a far superior, oft ignored competitor to Mario Kart. She would never play anything with me and/or my brother for more than 3 minutes – just enough to start but never finish a game of anything. To give you a bit of the background on Snood’s paid service, you get something like 100 puzzles for free. Then for a $15 payment, which isn’t really a subscription apparently, you get more than you could ever solve, I guess.
Anywho, I was in a very important class today (Thursday) and the girl in front of me busted out Snood on her MacBook. The only thing preventing me from picking up her trendy piece of shit and beating her within inches of her life with it was the lovely presentation being given by a classmate. What made matters worse was how bad she was at it. I watched her fail at the same level at least seven times. As I explained earlier, all you have to do is get three of the same types of faces to touch. Over and over. In her defense, she had the difficulty level set on “Insane” or whatever dopey word describes “Hard” in the Snoodiverse (what I like to call the universe in which Snood exists). But, really you shouldn’t need more than two shots at a single level. Eventually we were both scolded by our teacher for obviously not paying attention. She was playing Snood and I was writing this post about her playing Snood. Fucking a’ how pathetic is that?
[ad]
