4 Things I Want To Do By 2011

Apparently New Year’s Eve has come and gone. From all accounts I was in New Paltz for two nights celebrating, but there is absolutely no way I could confirm or deny those statements. My calendar, on the other hand, is about as reliable as any other calendar and it tells me we’re now in the year 2010, which is pretty sweet. Only a few more years till hoverboards, Mastodon is probably gearing up to write another album which will leave my brains all over Roy’s walls, and from what I can gather, we still have two whole years before the planet implodes.

So, I felt it was appropriate to wait until about a week in to make my resolutions. I decided to whittle down the thousands and thousands of character flaws and gimmicks which have been holding me back from achieving massive amounts of success, fame and fortune and focus on five key things I want to be able to accomplish by the end of this year. Let’s get started!

1. I want to be able to play the ukulele better then this kid:

I’ve been putting some serious hours in on the ole’ six string recently, but if I’m going to complete resolution 2, I need to sharpen my uke skillz. This kid has the right idea – just sittin’ around laughin’ and bustin’ out some chords and singing whatever he’s singing. If you double click and read the info, apparently he slipped a “Surfin’ USA” in there somewhere. That’s what ukulele is all about.

2. I want to record an album at least as labor intensive as The Wolf by Andrew W.K.

I was just alerted this morning that every track on Andrew W.K.’s incredibly underrated second album, The Wolf, has between 90 and 200 tracks all recorded by Andrew W.K. That is fucking impressive. Can I write the anthems of a generation as poignantly as Mr. W.K.? Probably not. But can I throw a bunch of shit at the wall and see what sticks? Definitely. Then can I take said sticky shit and overwork it like an even more obsessive Axl Rose? Absolutely.

3. I don’t want to look like this at any point in 2010:

Unless Ralph Macchio just thrashed me in a tournament, there is no reason I should be asleep at a party. Especially if I went so far out of my way to dress up and look presentable. If I were smoking bongs at Roy’s place all night, it’s one thing. But to show up to a kegger dressed to the nine’s just to fall asleep – that’s simply unjustifiable.

4. I want to somehow be able to make whoever accidentally lands on this site a) actually want to read some of the bullshit on it and b) get the jokes.

A lot of people visit the site via random Google Image searches. That rocks. The problem is that once they right click and save their image as (I know Mac users, a two buttoned mouse is so 1998, AMIRITE? Trendy douchebags.). Where was I? These parenthetical asides always knock me for a loop – maybe my fifth resolution should be to make them shorter and funnier. Oh right, no one visits the site or seems to get the jokes. Well I honestly don’t see how I can change either of those things, so let me link you to two comments from 2009 that really really missed the boat. Numer 1. Number 2.

Hey everyone,

We got to do a quick e-mail exchange interview with Mr. Andrew Strasser the mastermind behind “Bad Brilliance.”  In his own words, Bad B “wobbles around town looking for high society events so that he can be escorted out of them gently.”  Bad Brilliance is a rap artist who has worked with Andrew W.K and Girl Talk.  For more info you can check out his website or listen to some tracks on his myspace. You can catch him performing or wobbling through NYC, check out Santo’s Party House for possible dates.  His EP “Red Carpet To Nowhere” comes out soon on Skyscraper Music Maker.

You may not know Bad Brilliance now, but (if this interview is any indication) you will soon. Enjoy:

What inspired you to create Bad Brilliance?

Outdoing all socialites and brands by becoming both in one.

How apart from Andrew Strasser is the Bad Brilliance character? Does Bad Brilliance have his own personality? Likes or dislikes?

Andrew Strasser is far more polite, Bad Brilliance gets more women.
Bad Brilliance likes being seen, and he likes being in the spotlight.
Andrew Strasser likes eating thai food and cuddling.

What projects do you have planned in the future for Bad Brilliance?

Bad Brilliance is unrolling his Red Carpet to Nowhere.
It will be an EP and also the live show.  I am doing an Adult Swim event tomorrow where I will try it for the first time.  It is very important to have event photographers to either side of the carpet.  Anybody is allowed to walk on it and be photographed.  They will feel quite glamorous.

How did your relationship with Andrew W.K develop?

I showed him some strange images on Myspace, and he responded the next morning. I was shivering, and when we spoke on the phone I told him I wanted to meet at McDonalds.  After that it has been really cram packed with G Chat conversations.

The “strange images”

How does the ideal Bad Brilliance show progress? How is the audience? What is the overall atmosphere you are reaching towards? What should people be thinking as they leave your shows?

The ultimate Bad Brilliance show that I can think of when the budget for it rolls in will be to have a YELLOW HUMMER and a RED HUMMER on either side of the stage.  Out of each car would leap an Afghan hound in opposite colors (died fur).  When the door swings open you would notice Milfs seated in the car, fully covered with plastic surgery and with an abundance of fake fur coats strewn across their necks.

At that point you would hear the heaviest heaviest beat, the rest is for the world to find out.

Your website has a few mentions of Bad Brilliance being escorted out…can you share a story of Bad Brilliance running into security trouble?

It has happened twice.  The first time was at the launch of an Andy Warhol inspired fragrance at a high end fragrance boutique in Manhattan.  There were many older people and a few young society people, many had sour looks on their faces.   A young man in a suit grabbed me by the arm and dragged me out “excuse me you have to go”, he just repeated over and over.

The second time was at the Guggenheim for the Young Collector’s Council Annual Artist’s Ball.  I went with Sophia Lamar, and when she lost sight of me a beautiful woman held my hand – of course I followed her wherever she would take me.  At that moment two goons flanked me and escorted me out.

In a previous interview you mentioned that you prefer “rap” over “hip-hop” because it has less “integrity” and gets closer to “just the pure syrup.” I found this ‘syrup’ concept very interesting. Could you explain it a bit more? Does this quest towards the purer syrup extend outside of music? Any advice on how to reach it?

Attached are three images of Lycopene, it is what makes Tomatos and Ketchup Red.  One is a logo that I created using the Coca Cola font and the other two are the chemical extracts in a vile and in powder form.  It is an Anti Oxidant.  That is all that I can say for now.

Lycopene, the secret to the syrup?

Bad Brilliance is clearly a socialite. Who would be your top three celebrities to shmooze with for a night and why?

1. Kat Williams
2. Martin Lawrence
3. Pavarotti

I think it’s pretty self explanatory

How ambitious are your plans for Bad Brilliance? Is he a long-term project? What are your goals from this point?

Bad Brilliance will eventually become a franchise, you will be able to buy a costume and attend live events yourself.  The cost of buying into the franchise is undetermined, but a foundation will be built to run it for however long, 500 years? 800 years?  I’m sure the costume will evolve.

What artists are you listening to recently?

I am listening to dubstep remixes of female vocalists:
La Roux – In For The Kill (Skream’s Let’s Get Ravey Mix)

La Roux – ‘Bulletproof (Foamo Dubstep Remix)’

and
Adele – Hometown Glory (Chewy Chocolate Cookies Remix)

Clownstep you tubes:
here, here, here, here, and here

Where are you most comfortable?

Out of costume: Applebees/Outback Steakhouse/Cheesecake Factory
In costume: The Hamptons or Miami

Where are you least comfortable?

Out of Costume: with a girl (very shy)
In Costume: without a girl (bad b likes girls at all times)

Tell us about your song-writing process. What is your first step in writing a song and what is your main goal for the final product?

First I pick a bass drum and a hand clap, and I EQ each one and Compress it, add LFO to them until they sound just perfect, then I tap out a beat – the rest is up to chance.

My main goal for the final product is to make a Rap song that if you’d hear it on HOT 97 you’d be like “HOLY FUCK WHAT IS THIS?”

Lastly a two-part question that we try to ask every artist: Do you believe in true love? Do you believe in ghosts?

I believe that if you believe in true love, that you will also want to believe in ghosts so that you can meet your partner in the afterlife.

There is a ton of evidence finally being associated with me and it’s high time we acknowledge it. I’m finally being accepted as a straight twenty-something guy. In the four years since I’ve left High School, I have  let H&M, my fragile bones and my love for colors allow me to appear like a homosexual. While, I don’t have anything against gay men, I think it’s important for people to realize I am not one.

Let’s take a look at my progression from “fashion forward” to “don’t touch me or I’ll have DJ knock your teeth out.”

Here’s the earliest picture of me on Facebook:

Look at this guy! Just in some typical lounge wear, you know straightened hair, a painted American Apparel track jacket, patched jeans. I’m not trying at all! What? You want to make out and listen to some indie British bands? Well OK!

See the rest of the fellas on the runaway after the jump…

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No one has mastered the art of partying like Andrew W.K. For those who are unaware, he’s just released a compilation of his monthly advice column in Japan, has been featured in the January ’09 Esquire and is basically my new messiah. For those who haven’t had the pleasure, an Andrew W.K. party is truly a religious experience. Click here for tour dates.

What follows is our chat before the show, a photo gallery of winnebago/live shots and a full transcription of the interview (yeah, we’re starting to actually do some work around here). Enjoy!

Click here for .mp3

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If the picture browser is taking too long and you’re dying to see the rest click here for a raw gallery.

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The transcription is after the jump!

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