Chester Cheetah has been making quite a comeback recently. The current Cheeto Ad Campaign is called “Orange Underground” and it takes Chester out of his usual element of extreme (but well-padded) sports. Now, he’s pulling pranks involving the messiness of Cheetos. In my opinion, pointing out the fact that you could ruin your clothes, end up with shit all over your fingers and generally that only assholes eat your snack isn’t the best way to get your product out there, but the commercials are actually pretty funny. In accordance with the new campaign which, to the dismay of many, marks the end of the “Dangerously Cheesy” era of Cheetos advertising, Chester has gotten revamped as well. No longer is he a cartoon badass; now he’s a CGI badass with a weird European accent. Cartoon or CGI, Chester is not someone you want at your funeral. Unless you want the best funeral ever.

From Brazil – those guys are nuts!

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I’m sure by now you’ve seen the following picture. If you haven’t, it’s 14 time gold medal winner Michael Phelps taking a rip from a really nice looking bong. Of course, instead of crucifying the 23 year old party animal, maybe Americans should take a look at how apparently NOT bad for you smoking pot is. Clearly, this guy is no amateur. But that’s besides the point. I’m not gonna sit here and preach my drug-related politics. I’m here to bring the funny. So I present a list of five Olympians I would love to party with.

One can only imagine the monstrous rip those Olympian lungs can take. Fuck yeah.

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I recently downloaded season two of 30 Rock and was treated to the hilarious episode titled “Greenzo.” Man, that Alec Baldwin/Tina Fey combination is something else. They legitimately make me laugh out loud. The guest star in this episode, however, makes me want to give myself a spinal tap. Similarly, I downloaded the first two episodes of the current season of Scrubs. Again, the cast is generally pretty brilliant and again, the guest star gives me chills from being so unfunny. These two guest “stars” have one thing in common (besides the ability to make me wretch in front of my TV). They were both main characters on the disturbingly popular Friends.

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In today’s economy, I find it hard to believe that a TV channel like Food Network is able to keep all of its current programming and exist as a channel (although if there are even a thousand bored college students like me, they should have no trouble through January). Once January’s over, though, they’ll have to trim some fat (shoot me on-sight if you see me). Hopefully that fat will land itself in a place where it can grow into something immoral and mostly devoid of cooking advice. A tacky porn site. These are my ideas for the big switch:

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Ok I’m sure everyone and their senile grandmother knows about this story: Jdimytai Damour, a temp employee of Wal-Mart was trampled to death on black friday by an angry mob of Long Island douchebags. That is old news. However, this story brings to light some more facts I was peviously unaware of.

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If you find the title of this article even remotely juvenile or questionable do not read any further (unless you like that sort of thing).

I have a very decidedly problematic relationship with farts – I simultaneously find them horrifically disgusting and uncontrollably laugh out loud funny. I think I’ve finally figured out their secret, though. And I’ve done it with the power of math. Read more »

In my case, university life has been a breeze, a carefree, leisurely jaunt, a brief sojourn into the academic, a soiree of sorts. I pulled off a major and minor, spent last Spring in London (for no reason other than to be in Europe) and I’ll be graduating with honors a semester early this December. How did I do it? Well, because I’m a fucking pro. Still, you might have hit some snags along the way. To help out all those who are still trudging through the collegiate mire, I have compiled a how-to guide. All this week I’ll be releasing helpful tips to ensure that you will be able to succeed in college without really trying.

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