Hello everyone, I hope you are having a terrific week so far, I know mine has been pretty mediocre. Today I wanted to address a topic which, while not really in my field of interest, I am oftentimes asked about. That topic is the sensitive issue of foreplay. For those who do not know, foreplay is a romantic activity. An activity popularized by Mr. James Bond. I know I’m typing to a diverse crowd. There are some people who are very open with their sexuality. Then there are other, less whorish, less sinful, people who are preserving the sanctity of their loins for holy matrimony. Today I won’t be addressing either one because I’ve invented something new; it’s called fore-foreplay.

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I’m sure you heard through the ol’grapevine that the Swedes were creating a black hole in an underground labortory this week. For those who didn’t get the memo: it’s true. No, I’m not just presenting the plot to some James Bond movie as fact. This is what real humans thought would be a keen idea, creating a black hole in some bunker. What’s the worst that could happen? I’ll give you a hint, it starts with “Eradication” and ends with “of the human race”. B-I-N-G-O. Bingo, my man. You guessed it. Creating a black hole would kill everyone.

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