Dear Mr. Bowie,
First off, we are both very big fans. Probably not your biggest fans, but we are American, both of us. Cool, right? We just read the very kind letter you wrote to your other American fan. You wrote it back in 1967, but it was really nice. Are you still a nice guy? Did you ever make it to America? It’s kind of shitty. I’ve been to England. DJ hasn’t. That’s not really relevant I guess.
Anyway, we were just writing you to say we are both very big fans, though we don’t really listen to your albums too much. I think we probably both downloaded a few for free. You know, like the popular ones: Ziggy Stardust and Space Oddity. DJ knows some trivia about your song “Let’s Dance.” I don’t remember it. This is Roy, writing the letter by the way. Well, I’m typing it. DJ is yelling out his comments to me. DJ says “Hey.”
The album we really like is Hunky Dory. It is SO good! We like a lot of the tracks. The first one, “Changes,” is really good. We like how you stutter on the word “changes.” Did you think of that yourself? DJ says you don’t really stutter in real life. That makes it even more creative. The next song, “Oh! You Pretty Things” that one is good too. We like how you say the line, “look out my window what do I see, crack in the sky…” That’s mostly because of the album “Crack the Skye.” It’s by Mastodon and it’s really good too. “Oh! You Pretty Things” has good piano. You have a good voice.
“Eight Line Poem” isn’t as good as the first two songs. Too slow. You probably get that a lot.
“Life on Mars” is another really creative song. Really good job with that, we were impressed. I’ve listen to that song over 10 times. DJ says he probably has to, but he hasn’t been keeping count. What is the song “Kooks” about? We like that one too. It’s good. The songs after that are good too. Sometimes you sing funny.
Did you ever get to meet Andy Warhol in real life? What is Andy Warhol like? The beginning to this song is weird. DJ says you were probably high when you made it. I guess that makes sense. Do you remember if you were? Do you have something against Bob Dylan? You seem to. Did you ever meet Bob Dylan? What is his voice like in real life? How old is he now?
“Queen Bitch” is pretty bad ass. It sounds really good. What was your inspiration to write that song? We like it a lot.
Well, anyway. Thanks for reading our letter. Like we said, we’re from America, so you know…hope to hear from you soon. Keep making good music, but try to make some songs like the ones on Hunky Dory because those are our favorite ones.
Roy and DJ