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I thought Kim Kardashian was just a gorgeous, mindless, single slut- but I was totally wrong: she is not single. Apparently, she has been dating Reggie Bush, who was also, apparently, carved from ivory ebony. For the past few years I thought Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie were the best looking couple possible. WRONG. Take a look at these two people who are of solely physical worth:
Hello everyone. Sorry for the brief hiatus, I’ve had a very busy week fulfilling my “real life” obligations. Nevertheless, I am glad to be back to my “fake life.” Tonight DJ and I will be on the radio doing our thang. Be sure to tune in, WFNP.org for the live webcast or 88.7 FM if you happen to live in the scenic Hudson Valley. Or, for the thoreauvians out there who don’t own a computer or radio, you can just call us at 845-257-3090 anytime from 8pm-11pm EST tonight with something to say. FUN!
Anyway, when I said earlier that I’ve been busy doing “real life” obligations what I meant was I’ve been busy making out with Rihanna since Saturday night. Yes, its true. On Saturday, Chris Brown and MC Shakey-shakes (spelling?) fought DJ and myself. In a wacky turn of event DJ and I came out on top. Want to hear all the juicy details? Listen to the show tonight for full coverage.
And that’s not the only thing that has the music industry on its back like a turtle in the rain. Apparently, this week everything has just been going bonkers. Here’s some of the latest WTF’s of the music industry.
Continue on to read about the Hold Steady, Dave Matthews Band, Ryan Adams and the most outrageous “Super Group” I’ve ever heard of.
As many of you have probably already heard, Chris Brown has given a whole new meaning to Rihanna’s hit single “S.O.S.” Unfortunately, no one at the scene allowed Rihanna to stand under their umbrella while Brown inflicted a thunderstorm of a beating. Allow me to be clear. I, the Chachanooga, am crestfallen that someone has hindered production of whatever new song will rule my every brainwave for the next 9-12 months. In fact, the track “Please Don’t Stop the Music” was based off a piece of fan-mail composed by mois. However in terms of career moves, Chris Brown has hit the nail on the head. Here are five reasons why Brown’s refusal to “Shut Up and Drive” was the best idea ever:
2009: The year of the Douche (it’s a Ne-Yo joke, get it?)
This week we actually did what I would consider a good show. We started off talking about a bunch of crazy-ass women (their pictures are below), then we discussed my recent act of douchery, Valentine’s day, Power Rangers, Roy threatened Chris Brown and challenged him to a wrestling match, we ended the show with a brief Oscar/Grammy discussion. There is a lot of stuff going on here. As always check the show out live THURSDAYS 8-11PM EST on WFNP.ORG to participate live!
Here are some lunatic women and what they did this week:
Margaret Cho wrote a song about Miley Cyrus. Because Margaret Cho has never, ever made a joke about Asians and/or their appearance. Unfunny twat.
This crazy bitch set her mother on fire. Shocking.
This meth addict set her own house on fire… and claimed it was because of her support for Barack Obama.
Leanne Rimes on Jupiter whored herself. WHILE SHE WAS TEACHING A 4TH GRADE CLASS.
Mr. Brown,
Listen here, douche bag – Rihanna is an American treasure. You are an absolute scumbag and I’m personally disgusted with your conduct. I’ll begin this letter with some questions regarding the incident. First, who the hell are you receiving booty call texts from? You’re sitting in a fucking car with RIHANNA. Second, how come she’s the one that ended up getting her ass beaten? You jackass, you have to take a dive for that one – no excuses. Third, what were you thinking? You can’t just go around leaving beautiful girls knocked out in parking lots. You have to be responsible for your actions/messes. What you have done can never be forgiven and I personally hope you spend time getting systematically raped by hundreds of gargantuan lunatics in jail. I also hope for her sake, your mother never crosses my path. The mother of the guy who beat up Rihanna will certainly get her comeuppance from me (probably in the form of unrelenting tickles and the occasional ass-slap – tame, but comeuppance, nevertheless).
The ultimate puss-cake.
As many of you have read in my previous posts, I have, in the past, been involved with Barbadian pop singer Rihanna. Sadly, our relationship was short lived- I wanted to take things slow and Rihanna, still young and frisky, was overly eager and moving too quickly for my taste. While we still talked with some regularity, we began to drift apart. Eventually, Rihanna met her new beau, Chris Brown. I was happy for her of course, and was glad she had finally found someone more compatible. I hadn’t really given the whole thing a second thought until this week when I found out Mr. Brown had criminally assaulted Ms. Fenty (the last name isn’t as attractive) leaving her bruised, cut and choked unconscious. Needless to say I was up in arms over the entire thing and took it as a call to action. So, I talked to Rihanna on AIM three days after hearing about it. Conversation below (Rihanna’s screen name is EllaEllaElla88 and mine is MintPsyzique71).
