Hello dear readers,

I’m so sorry I have been gone so long. I just checked the stats and I have not updated since April 22nd, exactly one month ago. Why have I not updated in such a very long time? Well, there are several reasons, one of which is true: 1) I have been busy helping DJ design our new site layout, which should be released within the coming weeks 2) I have not had an internet connection or a working computer for several weeks and 3) It was the end of the semester and blogging will not take priority over school until DJ can start paying me.
But just because I haven’t been blogging doesn’t mean I haven’t thought about blogging. I have! Quite a bit actually. Look no further than my hilarious twitter account for proof of the wacky ideas I’ve been thinking. I’m such a loopy lad!

Well, on May 11th at precisely 7:50PM I let @SmartassRadio know that I would be writing a blog about Electabuzz and when I make a promise I keep it. So, after much ado, here is a blog entry that could possibly interest a very bored twelve year old a decade ago:

Hello, my name is Electabuzz and I’m an alcoholic.

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Dear Billy Corgan,

Let me just start by saying that bald is (and has always been) the new pony tail. It’s a killer look, especially for you. So I hear you’re looking for a new drummer. Must be tough! Well how about some good news Mr. Melancholy? I’m not going to ask you to step off your high horse and extend the equestrian invitation to join your band. This is me swallowing, no, choking down my pride, to tender your offer to be the newest drummer of the Smashing Pumpkins! And I can shout with the utmost of confidence that today is in fact the greatest day, you and I have ever known.

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Here at the SmartassRadio offices, we love giving each other advice. Whether it’s about that rash on Roy’s inner thigh or Chachi’s battered liver, we always figure out the right solution to whatever’s ailing us. We decided to extend that courtesy to our readers. It started as medical advice, but clearly a few of our readers missed the point. You can email your own questions to DJ@SmartassRadio.com or Roy@SmartassRadio.com

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On this past week’s show I mentioned this article. It got me thinking about a few things. My first thought was that if I started now, I could probably have my own sizeable organization by the time I’m sixty. After my brain shot that down, I thought “Why don’t I live in Italy?” to which my brain responded “Because you don’t speak Italian”. Then I thought about one of my arch nemeses – the arch dioceses. I came up with this venn diagram to compare the (stereotypical) organized crime and some organized religions.

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