No duo has been in the business of being taken for granted longer than the washer and dryer. I recently moved into a new place in South Philadelphia to find Hasidicly low rent, a spacious kitchen area, and even a private back porch (where I and mayor Nutter privately discuss strategies on the conquering of New Jersey). Sounds great right? The fragrant peaks of Sock Mountain beg to differ. So here it is, without further ado, the everyman’s guide to winter laundry.

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This is Dayv

Part 1: The Bar

5:30 EST

Let’s talk Friday at your favorite bar. After a long week at the office, you arrive early to catch those highway robbery happy hour prices. I mean, sun-still-up, bank-still- open early. By normal-people-binge-drinking o’ clock, which roughly falls around 10 pm, you will fire up those crosshairs to hunt for female game. While your stats on this particular event often prove to be bronze metal at best, you have four things going for you on this specific night:
A) You are wearing the newest fragrance of Axe spray-on deodorant.
B) With all the disastrous past Friday nights, probability is in your corner.
C) The mozzarella sticks are damn good.
D) You usually black out before getting rejected, and thus will struggle to remember most/if any of the details tomorrow morning.

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