12 ROUNDS starring the WWE superstar JOHN “ YOU CAN’t SEE ME!” Cena
By the American Hero, Peter P. Marsh dah third

Alrighty internet people I went to this movie absolutely wasted and I snuk booze into the threate and I am wasted while writing this, just for the record. Well anywho, not a well ur drink from,… a little word play I have noticed Roy likes to do…by the way love Roy’s entries….oh boy this is gonna be a long entry. OKAY people, I have to say 12 rounds was action packed, maybe too action packed!?! The entire film keeps you on the edge of ur seat but never gives you sense of, what’s the word, I’m getting a little writers block with a Mutombo wave of the finger, lets just say that the movie just all action and no understanding, if that makes any sense.

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The Internet is a many splendored thing. If I were to try to hunt down a video of a woman doin’ it in an ET costume (link NSFW and probably not safe for 99% of the population – you’ve been warned), it would take literally hours in the real world. If I wanted to know the complete history of hampsterdance.com I would probably have to track down the original owners/operators of the site. If, say, I wanted to hear the ramblings of two boring, under-produced and over-hyped metal nerds, I would actually have to sit around at my nearest Gibson dealer – a fate worse than castration. And, of course if I wanted to see Val Kilmer in 2008, I would have had to actually find him way back then. Luckily for me, none of those scenarios ever has to happen thanks to the Internet.

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Due to my strong personal convictions, I wish to stress that that this film in no way endorses a belief in unattractive obese men wearing glasses.

Salutations fellow smartasses. Uncle Chachi has returned with big news. Michael Jackson’s Thriller is set hit the Broadway stage. Sound like a good idea? Wait just a jail-dancing, moon-walking, kid-humping second. The Cha Cha Cha has a few suggestions on how we can make sure that the producers of this musical don’t disappoint and accidentally turn a cinematic masterpiece into Mamma Mia II.

Fucking horrifying.

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I don’t make New Year’s resolutions.  Instead, during the first week of every year I analyze the top things that I am most inept at. Each year it gets harder and harder to come up with even one answer. This year it took some time, but I’ve listed out and explained the seven things I am most inept at. Will I be able to resolute these ineptitudes? I doubt it.

Coming Straight At You, From My Head to Your Face

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