On Friday, Roy told me that Pitchforkmedia.com just gave the Beastie Boys‘ second album, Paul’s Boutique, a 10/10 – something the overly elitist, pompous, horn rimmed glasses with a septum ring wearing hipster douchebag of a website almost never does. Holy fucking shit! You think, 20 years after it’s release, Paul’s Boutique was a perfect album? Way to go, assholes, you came to a conclusion everyone who’s ever listened to the album has come to. Also, you did it in the most obnoxious way possible:

10/10! Brilliant! Especially since we can now see in hindsight its impact on that which eventually succeeded it!

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As many of you have probably already heard, Chris Brown has given a whole new meaning to Rihanna’s hit single “S.O.S.” Unfortunately, no one at the scene allowed Rihanna to stand under their umbrella while Brown inflicted a thunderstorm of a beating. Allow me to be clear. I, the Chachanooga, am crestfallen that someone has hindered production of whatever new song will rule my every brainwave for the next 9-12 months. In fact, the track “Please Don’t Stop the Music” was based off a piece of fan-mail composed by mois. However in terms of career moves, Chris Brown has hit the nail on the head. Here are five reasons why Brown’s refusal to “Shut Up and Drive” was the best idea ever:

2009: The year of the Douche (it’s a Ne-Yo joke, get it?)

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As many of you have read in my previous posts, I have, in the past, been involved with Barbadian pop singer Rihanna. Sadly, our relationship was short lived- I wanted to take things slow and Rihanna, still young and frisky, was overly eager and moving too quickly for my taste. While we still talked with some regularity, we began to drift apart. Eventually, Rihanna met her new beau, Chris Brown. I was happy for her of course, and was glad she had finally found someone more compatible. I hadn’t really given the whole thing a second thought until this week when I found out Mr. Brown had criminally assaulted Ms. Fenty (the last name isn’t as attractive) leaving her bruised, cut and choked unconscious. Needless to say I was up in arms over the entire thing and took it as a call to action. So, I talked to Rihanna on AIM three days after hearing about it. Conversation below (Rihanna’s screen name is EllaEllaElla88 and mine is MintPsyzique71).

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