My last installment of “What Not To Listen To: Static X” was featured on the old site and was one of the few things that didn’t make it over to the new one when we switched last August. So, I’ll be posting that as soon as I find the original document.

What Not To Listen To is my opportunity to pick a horrible, obviously hated band and just tear them to shreds for both musical and non-musical reasons. Wayne Static and Static X had it coming from day one and so has Papa Roach. I understand the easiness of tearing down each of these bands, but I’m gonna do it anyway.

This is not photoshopped.

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[Another genius concept from the Smartass Radio crew. A lot of people don’t realize that our newest contributor, Chachi Ramirez is not only proficient in Spanish and avoiding getting shot on the mean streets of Philly, but he’s also a history buff. In this new recurring series, he’ll let us in on some of history's biggest secrets and shed light on little known facts about a few of the biggest events ever to take place. This week, we get quick peek into the motivation behind the attack on Pearl Harbor. - DJ]

The Prime Minister of Japan

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This Cinderella-story of the presidential election has finally (two months ago) come to a close. For the first time in our nation’s history we might be able to say that the 2008 race was the most triumphant and simultaneously darkest election in history. However, for me, the Chach, there still seems to be some loose ends. Anyone else notice those signs at a Barack Obama rally in Ann Arbor, Michigan that read “Dufresne ‘08”? Or what about that sign at a rally in Tallahassee, Floridia that read “Brooks Was Here”? My apologies to Barack in advance. But I can no longer in good conscious let this political stunt slide.

Not OK.

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As everyone should know, Charles Barkley was arrested for DUI on New Year’s Eve while on his way to an “amorous encounter” (woah! that sounds hot and heavy!). What information what not made readily available (at least not to this member of the celeb-driven blogosphere) was the fact that Sir Charles was leaving a party where he was joined by Michael Strahan and Jaleel White. It should come as no surprise that Jaleel finds himself in the spotlight after years of dormancy, I had, in fact, made a passing reference to Steve Urkel in my last scientific report. With all due respect, Mr. Colbert, you haven’t the slightest clue as to what it means to give people a cultural “bump”. But I digress, what follows is a word for word account of the conversation Jaleel White had with Charles “Not Gnarls” Barkley.

Clearly, this guy knows a thing or two about being responsible while you party.

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Another genius concept from the Smartass Radio crew. A lot of people don’t realize that our newest contributor, Chachi Ramirez is not only proficient in Spanish and avoiding getting shot on the mean streets of Philly, but he’s also a history buff. In this new recurring series, he’ll let us in on some of histories biggest secrets and shed light on little known facts about a few of the biggest events ever to take place. This week, we get an insder’s look at the planning stages of the Boston Tea Party. – DJ

Hell Raiser.

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Ok I’m sure everyone and their senile grandmother knows about this story: Jdimytai Damour, a temp employee of Wal-Mart was trampled to death on black friday by an angry mob of Long Island douchebags. That is old news. However, this story brings to light some more facts I was peviously unaware of.

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Until tonight I had never heard of Thomas Kinkade. Though I really should have because he has sold more paintings than any artist in the history of the world. In fact, it is estimated that 1 out of 10 homes in the United States have some form of his art. He is referred to as “The Painter of Light”. He sells his prints on QVC. He has a movie coming out that details the creation of his painting, “The Christmas Cottage”. And he may have painted the worst painting I have ever seen.

Take a look below…

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