Hello everyone, I hope you are having a terrific week so far, I know mine has been pretty mediocre. Today I wanted to address a topic which, while not really in my field of interest, I am oftentimes asked about. That topic is the sensitive issue of foreplay. For those who do not know, foreplay is a romantic activity. An activity popularized by Mr. James Bond. I know I’m typing to a diverse crowd. There are some people who are very open with their sexuality. Then there are other, less whorish, less sinful, people who are preserving the sanctity of their loins for holy matrimony. Today I won’t be addressing either one because I’ve invented something new; it’s called fore-foreplay.

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Recently, Pamela Anderson adopted a child, but not just any child. You guessed it folks, she stole one from Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie! Some people are speculating that Pamela Anderson did, in fact, sneak into the Jolie-Pitt villa late last night accompanied by no-other than tv funny man, Steve Carrell. Steve had just come from a rendezvous with now single night-club vixen, Paris Hilton. The two (Steve and Paris) had met up at the opening of Arnold Schwarzenegger‘s newest Planet Hollywood in Des Moines. The opening was also attended by other A-listers, most notably: the boys from Orange County Choppers, Brandon Flowers, Kim Kardashian and president-elect Barack Obama.

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