Our Senior-Paleontology Expert Dan Scully recently painted a fairly spine-tingling portrait of the latest prehistoric fiend: Predator X (re: turtleshark). I have been a big dinosaur fan ever since my youth and, like many others, I have always found T-Rex to be a pretty stellar example of what Darwinism was capable of. Still, I am not one of those dinoholics who refuse to take T-Rex off his pearly pedestal. I admit there are carnivores much more vicious and gargantuan (look no further than our senior-paleontology expert Dan “Skull-Crusher” Scully). However, one dinosaur that certainly won’t be usurping anyone, except maybe the giant squid and Nessy, is Predator X. Why? Because he’s a sea monster and sea monsters are only scary to avid swimmers and pussies (often the same people).

As Jurassic Park III showed us there are already more ferocious dinosaurs than the Rex.

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Let me state that following a Static X post with post about Predator X is like following the Jonas Brothers with Pantera. That being said, don’t judge Predator X before you read this. – DJ

Fuckin’ a – how come only news sources (and tabloids) ending in .co.uk bring us anything usefull to read while NYT.com and online.wsj.com/home-page (that url makes me sick) just keep cramming economic jargon down our throats in vain attempts at educating the masses (read: “making the masses feel like dumb assholes”). This week during my travels through the jollier section of the Internet, I came across this kickass piece of news.

Is that a T-Rex with flippers? No. It’s worse.

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Dear Universal Studios,

Hello. First of all, I’m a huge fan. I just had a quick suggestion, concerning your Jurassic Park franchise. It seems like you guys were fine with just wrapping that up as a trilogy. I mean you could do that, but why not just pull a “Star Wars” and go for the saga? I know it’s hard to think of movie ideas. I know. But, TA-DA, I solved that problem for you! Here are three guaranteed oscar-worthy Jurassic Park ideas. Feel free to use them, no charge. Seeing these cinematic masterpieces come to fruition would be enough of a reward.

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