This post was written for SmartassRadio 1.0 – and it has remained hidden somewhere in my hard drive between “Slutty Squirters 3″ and “Terminator 3″ (both equally erotic for eerily similar reasons). Today is the day I got the new album, Cult of Static. While I ponder my review, you can read this little ditty, which was written in October of ’07. It’s not my best writing, but it did lay the groundwork for this masterpiece. – DJ

This week I’m gonna have to go ahead and tell you to not listen to the entire Static X catalogue. I went to see the Operation Annihilation Tour on October 16th and they were far and away the lowest point of the show. And they were headlining. Even fat Dino from Fear Factory’s new band Devine Heresy kicked the living crap out of Wayne Static and their lead singer had a broken leg. Now, I’m not one to base much on a name or look (I love Skeletonwitch and Gwar (update: let’s put Dance Club Massacre annnnd Avenged Sevenfold in here -ed.)) but Static X definitely has the worst of both worlds. Frank has the right idea in that no band should have the letter X as a full word in their name. I love Symphony X but if they had a different name I’d love em even more.

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Kanye West eloquently rebutted allegations that he would do bi-sexual porn earlier this week. First of all, idiots, the term “bi-sexual porn” makes me want to have sex with a woman and then flirt with a guy. I’ve never once in my very lenthy porn watching career ever saw something I would consider “bi-sexual” – it’s straight or it’s gay. Regardless, I’d do it. In fact, I’ve been thinking about it for a while and I just watched the first 80% of Zach and Miri Make a Porno (fucking megavideo). So here’s a few porno ideas I hope to make one day. Or at least over the course of a few days.

I’m telling you – they’re total sluts.

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