I like to dance, so sue me!!!!!!

Hahaha, I’m sorry, that first line just cracked me up. But seriously folks, I do; I do love to dance. Dancing is my natural passion. In fact, if I were to have my own Vitamin Water it would have only two ingredients: passion fruit and dancing…and water. It wouldn’t taste very good, but it would sum up my feelings on dancing very well. When I hear music, my body naturally wants to move. I wiggle and jiggle, I bop and be. Do I follow many dancing conventions? No, of course not. Do I flail, air-hump and turn my body into a human gyroscope? Yes. Yes, I do. I know I busted a move (or two, LOL) this weekend, but I’m beginning to think my techniques are being subtly mocked. Are those fun-loving party people laughing with me? Or are those ugly, prudish, boneheads laughing at me? Let’s figure it out:

Working at 12% of my dancing potential.

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As many of you have read in my previous posts, I have, in the past, been involved with Barbadian pop singer Rihanna. Sadly, our relationship was short lived- I wanted to take things slow and Rihanna, still young and frisky, was overly eager and moving too quickly for my taste. While we still talked with some regularity, we began to drift apart. Eventually, Rihanna met her new beau, Chris Brown. I was happy for her of course, and was glad she had finally found someone more compatible. I hadn’t really given the whole thing a second thought until this week when I found out Mr. Brown had criminally assaulted Ms. Fenty (the last name isn’t as attractive) leaving her bruised, cut and choked unconscious. Needless to say I was up in arms over the entire thing and took it as a call to action. So, I talked to Rihanna on AIM three days after hearing about it. Conversation below (Rihanna’s screen name is EllaEllaElla88 and mine is MintPsyzique71).

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I’m a miserable human being. Each day feels a rape by samurai sword. I feel I can no longer express myself fully through ironic black t-shirts. Taproot’s latest CD isn’t selling very well. Chinese Democracy has lost a lot of its appeal for me. My current living situation with Roy is actually a little worse than what I expect hell to be like. My radio show is completely mediocre. I’ve had a cold for like 5 days. Basically, my life is over.

I just can’t take it anymore and have made the ultimate decision – to take my own life. This may come as a shock to some, but I feel it’s really the best course of action for myself and those around me. However, this has proven to be a lot more difficult than I originally planned. Lucky for me, Roy has been there every step of the way taking pictures.

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Hello everyone, or shall I say Bonjour? Why shalt I say Bonjour? Well, I’m on a bit of an overseas adventure right now. No, I’m not overseas, but I am out of my apartment. I just trekked the icy parking lot to my next door laundromat (a word that WordPerfect, evidently, considers misspelt unless the “l” is capitalized). You might remember DJ’s recent post which he composed at this very same establishment. DJ apparently gets very irritable whilst in the laundromat and his “ruminations” ended up being an on-point rant about John Tesh (who, I agree, stinks). What will the laundromat have me come up with as far as blog posts? Well, lets see:

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I’m a genius. Pheew. I’m glad I got that off my chest. It’s true. I’m pretty fantastic at pretty much anything. Unfortunately, one thing that I am not so swell at is mathematics. I know, hard to believe right? Well, it’s true. I really hardly know how to do any math at all. Basic addition maybe, but my skill levels end there. Consequently, I’ve found it necessary to enroll myself in the tutoring program at my college. I met with my tutor for the first time today. Our first lesson? Long division. I don’t know if you have ever heard of this stuff. I’m not sure if its considered calculus or trigonometry, but its pretty tough. Needless to say, being the math-novice that I am, I found it very confusing.

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People have been asking me so I figured I would explain myself publicly. Yes, it’s true. I am now much tanner than I usually am. My buff bronze physique has been catching a lot of eyes, but it has also been garnering a lot of questions. Well, I went to Florida that’s why I’m so tan. At least that’s the short story, there is more to it I guess…

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