My Multiple Personality Disorder And How It Relates To The Character Roster of Super Smash Bros. For Nintendo 64
Wow! Long time, no see! Right? Am I Right? (Rhetorical).
Hope everyone had a great weekend, I know I did. What was particularly fun about my days off was the amount of psychotherapy I was able to fit in. Most weekends I literally get ZERO psychotherapy done, but this weekend I was able to get a whole bunch. Truth be told, I think I’ve come to a breakthrough. My therapist has diagnosed me with multiple-personality disorder. Boring right? (Rhetorical). I thought the same thing, until she explained further: I don’t just have two or three personalities. I have twelve…and they each correspond to one of the playable characters from the original Super Smash Bros. video game for Nintendo 64.
Which personality to choose…
I Think My Wii Fit Instructor is Gay
I haven’t been to the gym in months, its awful. I can slip my entire arm through most keyholes and I break a sweat when I accelerate my car. When school is in session DJ and I try to stick with a fairly regimented work out schedule, pumping iron a minimum of three days a week. Unfortunately, we kind of slipped off our schedule…back in November. I have since found a supplemental exercise program, but in many ways its falls short. That program is Wii Fit. It is easy to use, I like the look of my Mii character and I can finally wear what I want (spandex) to the gym. I’ve been able to push aside the program’s shortcomings (ie: lack of results),until now. I’ve recently come to suspect my Wii Fit instructor is a gay.
Leslie, my instructor.
Things I am Better at Than Roy Verspoor
[About a month ago I removed Patty from our "About" page. About two days ago, she noticed and got in a tizzy demanding that she be put back on it. I have a feeling she misses all the "creepy" dudes finding her on Facebook and sending her lewd emails. But that's besides the point; clearly, she doesn't deserve to be there. I told her that if she started contributing, I might put her back on. In a fit of rage, she cranked out this gem of a piece and demanded we do a podcast on Long Island. Both ended up being equally genius. And so, Patty is now included on the "About" once again. -DJ]
I Need to Move.
You may or may not know that I currently reside in the hippy college town of New Paltz, NY – where I’m finishing up school. What you may not know is that I live in a shitty little apartment above a toy store. This is all well and good for a few reasons – it’s cheap, it’s close to the bars (and school), I get a great people watching view from my windows (of which there are six in my room alone) and perhaps best of all it’s a landmark (it was like the first school in NY or something a few hundred years ago)
It’s also not so great for a few other reasons.
Podcast 22: Live Show Sept. 14th
Here’s the live show from last night. We’re still getting back in the groove so please excuse my apparent inability to operate the control board… next week we’ll have an engineer doing all that stuff, so I’ll be able to focus on the actual show.
We had a few friends join us this week. Russ started the show with us. Then, in a shockingly coincidental turn of events, Christopher Walken joined us for about an hour while Russ was in the bathroom battling some bad nachos.
Once Mr. Walken left, the show took a massive nosedive and you probably won’t even want to listen…
I’m Afraid My Love for Ranch Dressing Might One Day Become Unconditional
I’ve recently realized that I am beginning to abide by this formula, a little to much:
FOOD Q + RANCH DRESSING = YUMMY-IN-MY-TUMMY
