Kanye West eloquently rebutted allegations that he would do bi-sexual porn earlier this week. First of all, idiots, the term “bi-sexual porn” makes me want to have sex with a woman and then flirt with a guy. I’ve never once in my very lenthy porn watching career ever saw something I would consider “bi-sexual” – it’s straight or it’s gay. Regardless, I’d do it. In fact, I’ve been thinking about it for a while and I just watched the first 80% of Zach and Miri Make a Porno (fucking megavideo). So here’s a few porno ideas I hope to make one day. Or at least over the course of a few days.

I’m telling you – they’re total sluts.

Read more »

Recently, Pamela Anderson adopted a child, but not just any child. You guessed it folks, she stole one from Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie! Some people are speculating that Pamela Anderson did, in fact, sneak into the Jolie-Pitt villa late last night accompanied by no-other than tv funny man, Steve Carrell. Steve had just come from a rendezvous with now single night-club vixen, Paris Hilton. The two (Steve and Paris) had met up at the opening of Arnold Schwarzenegger‘s newest Planet Hollywood in Des Moines. The opening was also attended by other A-listers, most notably: the boys from Orange County Choppers, Brandon Flowers, Kim Kardashian and president-elect Barack Obama.

Read more »

1999 was a particularly special year in music. Backstreet Boys broke the single week sales record, Fred Durst was still cool, Eminem was the coolest thing your parents wouldn’t let you listen to and, for you metal kids (or anyone seeking a legitimate musical milestone in 1999) Mastodon formed.

Not only was vapid music polluting the airwaves and TRL, but 1999 was when I decided to start spending an insane amount of time alone in my basement watching TV – I truly feel this time in my life shaped me into the man I am now. Please excuse me if, by the end of this list, my spelling and grammar become erratic. I’m probably operating with one hand.

Read more »