Hola amigos! Happy Cinco de Mayo!…or as it’s known in San Jose, Cinco de Stabbo. So anywho I recently saw the new x-men movie about the origin of the great Wolverine and must say that it was off the hook. Wolverine delivers on all three qualities that great action movies should possess including a great storyline, super kick-ass fight scenes, and outta dis world special effects. On the ever-changing and highly praised Pete Marsh’s Top Movies List, it moved passed some epic and undeniable greats such as Spiderman 2, Star Wars: Attack of the Clones, and Home Alone 2: Lost in New York with Some Crazy Pigeon Lady.

So going into this movie I had no idea what to expect considering I have never read any of the comics and vaguely remember the cartoon series. It begins with Logan (Wolverine) sick in bed when he is a kiddo. His brother (Sabertooth) speaks about how he too used to be sick when he was younger…nice foreshadowing… Logan’s pops strolls in and he reassures the little mutant that everything is going to be fine and blah blah blah. I forget exactly what happens but there might have been a loud noise or someone yelling for Logan’s dad? Logan’s Dad then goes downstairs and he ends up getting shot. Wolverine sees his father killed in cold murder and fury takes over. For the first time his not-so blades come out, I would say blades but they are finger nails at the time. Logan charges towards the killer and sticks his blades right into his stomach. Pretty brutal and narly! But a little plot twist comes into effect as Wolverine watches the guy who killed his father die; tell him the truth that he was Wolverine’s true father. So Logan runs faster than Forest Gump and his brother catches up with him and explains to him he did the right thing and that they must always stick together for the fact that normal people will not accept them for who they are.

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Hello internet world, its me, your American Hero with another movie review. This time I’m soder and ready to rip the shizzle out of one of the worst movies of all-time. So hold onto your keyboards as I go off on this terrible movie.

So I get to the theatre a little outside San Jose to see The Knowing. I knew very little about the movie except that it was about the end of the world and one of my favorite actors, Nicolas Cage, was in it. So I was pretty amped up for this movie and ready for Nicky boi to put an end to the end of the world. So after buying my ticket at the great price of 4.50!…unheard of in San Jose…I got some popcorn and a little so-derrr pop and headed into the theatre.

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I thought Kim Kardashian was just a gorgeous, mindless, single slut- but I was totally wrong: she is not single. Apparently, she has been dating Reggie Bush, who was also, apparently, carved from ivory ebony. For the past few years I thought Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie were the best looking couple possible. WRONG. Take a look at these two people who are of solely physical worth:

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