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Dear Smartass Radio 2: Romance

Hey guys! Last time we busted out a “Dear SmartassRadio” we explained how to stay fit and healthy. It was a huge success and the letters have been pouring in ever since. This time we decided it would be more fun to answer some of the sexier letters we’ve gotten in recent months. Check ‘em out after the jump.

This is not profound. It's just lame.

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Interview: Damon Fox of Bigelf

The self-proclaimed ring leader of Bigelf was kind enough to take some time away from wearing kick ass top hats and channeling the stoned love child of John Lord and Keith Emerson to talk with me at the Philly stop on the Progressive Nation 2009 tour. If you don’t know who Bigelf are, you need to. Right now. Cheat The Gallows made my wacky year end list and will probably make it again, unless Mastodon puts out another album before December. These dudes put on a heavy fucking show for everyone and reminded all the Wold of Warcraft T-shirt wearing Dream Theater fans what progressive meant in 1975. Mike Portnoy probably relayed probably the best description of them in my interview with him: “They’re about 25 years in the past and 5 years in the future.” And they’re really really cool guys.

Below is my 30-something minute chat with Damon, a few pics from the show and by week’s end I’ll have a transcription for those of you who are deaf or who lack the proper equipment/plugins/moral constitution to listen to me act like a fanboy retard for a half hour. Enjoy!

 

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bigelf_fullband damon_onstage
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Smartass Radio 55: We Can’t Drive… 55

Here’s our fifty-fifth podcast. What did we talk about this week? How awful the new movie “Taking Woodstock” will be, how I need a new job. You know, stuff like that…

Here she is:

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Interview: Mike Portnoy of Dream Theater

I recently had the opportunity to interview Mike Portnoy at the Progressive Nation 2009 tour stop in Philly. I really don’t think I need to say much else. I wanted to come up with some clever drum-related way of calling him a legend, but I don’t think I need to. If they haven’t already hit your town go see this tour. It features Scale the Summit (who I unfortunately missed), Bigelf (who will be featured on the site tomorrow), Zappa Plays Zappa, and of course Dream Theater. I have to say, it was my first DT show and I was really satisfied with the experience.

Below is the audio interview and a few pics from the experience, below THAT will be a transcription when I have a few free hours.

 

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portnoy_dj portnoy_zappa
I recently had the opportunity to interview the legendary Mike Portnoy at the Prog Nation 2009 tour stop in Philly. If they haven’t already hit your town go see this tour. It features Scale the Summit (who I unfortunately missed), Bigelf (who will be featured on the site tomorrow), Zappa Plays Zappa, and of course Dream Theater.
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Smartass Radio 53: Eddie Van Halen Sucks

In this podcast, James and I take it upon ourselves to tear good ole EVH a new one. We also handle the news that Radiohead insisted “another album will kill us.” Yeah. We’re going for another new gimmick beginning this week. Half hour shows! Like TV!!!

 

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At one point in the podcast I reference and we announce a song contributed to a porno by Mr. Brown Sound. We don’t have any sort of way to do this legally, so here’s a YouTube video of it:

Since we’ve been so insanely inconsistent – we’re gonna bang out (hehe BANG) out two new interviews and another podcast before the end of the week. 

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Music + Humor = Fun (A SmartassRadio Announcement)

Hello all: In our efforts to provide an ever-better site for you, the crew here at SAR INC has decided to make another web-page revamp. However, this time the site change isn’t cosmetic, it’s content based. If you are a long time follower you probably remember our first content change. Initially the site was just metal music interviews, but in an effort to broaden our horizons we started writing about anything we wanted with no real continuity (aside from authorship) between posts.

Well, after punching the numbers, DJ suggested that we may have made too big of a jump. Apparently moving from very specific to infinitely undefined didn’t help us establish the regular foundation of readers we’ve been looking for.

It makes sense if you give it even a half-second of thought. When I do my rounds of the internet I make my stops in very categorized ways. E-mail, social networking site, indie-music blog, celebrity gossip news, fake-news, entertainment site….etc.

So how do you categorize SmartassRadio?

Well, it’s a frankenstein monster of things DJ and I find hilarious and/or noteworthy. Which would be fine, if DJ and I were an established brand of humor. But alas, outside of our group of friends, we are not.

So, in order to make the site more directed, legitimate and (hopefully) visited, we’ve decided to say that from now on: we’re a vegetable-porn music-based website.

music

It’s not a tremendous change really…I’d say we’re already 75% music-based, but from now on you won’t be seeing any more posts like, “What Angelina Jolie Would Be Thinking If She Drove By Me While I Was Running One Of My Intermittent Three Mile Runs”

(I mean let’s be honest, if Angelina Jolie drove by me while I was running one of my intermittent three mile runs she would probably just think, “Wow that guy looks terrific, I’d like to give him a massage” and then she’d just start thinking of something else.)

Of course, this doesn’t mean we’ll be abandoning humor (if that’s what you want to call this). We’re just saying, “HEY, all these posts are about music.” Connections. Full circle.

So, that’s the announcement as announced by me. Why am I announcing it? Why don’t I just make the change without informing the readers explicitly?

Well, that’s the SAR difference. We put ourselves on the same level as our delicious readers. Does Billboard make these kind of personal announcements? No, Billboard.com is written by a robot. Would Pitchfork be this gracious? No, they would just make fun of you for not realizing that they are just called Pitchfork now instead of Pitchfork Media. Would some snobby-blog be this up-front? No, they’d just post some shitty mp3s, provide some tour dates, give a lousy review of a lousy album and call it a day.

So, that’s it. You might be seeing some more reoccurring segments now (I’m planning one called “Rewinding with Roy”) and of course the podcast and interviews will be going strong!

As always dear reader, comment if you have any suggestions, because our real goal is to become a pleasant stop on your internet hit parade.  And to continue rocking, but that has never been a problem.

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Smartass Radio 52: Nothing but Faith in Nothing

After a brief hiatus, we’re back and better than ever. Here’s a strong podcast from James and me. I interviewed Cherie Lily (see below), Tayisha Busay, Andrew Strasser and Bad Brilliance at Santos Party House. Then, we covered the news in about two minutes, you get to hear some music from Tomorrow’s Outlook and we wrap it up by talking about the worst lyrics ever. Feel free to add your own to the comments.

 

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Songs featured:

The Trooper Believer – DJ Schmolli
WTF (You Doin in My Mouth)? – Tayisha Busay
Quack Head – Bad Brilliance
Liquid Scream – Tomorrow’s Outlook

Here’s our dimly lit and awful sounding interview with the bright and beautiful sounding Cherie Lily:

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