This Cinderella-story of the presidential election has finally (two months ago) come to a close. For the first time in our nation’s history we might be able to say that the 2008 race was the most triumphant and simultaneously darkest election in history. However, for me, the Chach, there still seems to be some loose ends. Anyone else notice those signs at a Barack Obama rally in Ann Arbor, Michigan that read “Dufresne ‘08”? Or what about that sign at a rally in Tallahassee, Floridia that read “Brooks Was Here”? My apologies to Barack in advance. But I can no longer in good conscious let this political stunt slide.

Not OK.

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Recently, Pamela Anderson adopted a child, but not just any child. You guessed it folks, she stole one from Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie! Some people are speculating that Pamela Anderson did, in fact, sneak into the Jolie-Pitt villa late last night accompanied by no-other than tv funny man, Steve Carrell. Steve had just come from a rendezvous with now single night-club vixen, Paris Hilton. The two (Steve and Paris) had met up at the opening of Arnold Schwarzenegger‘s newest Planet Hollywood in Des Moines. The opening was also attended by other A-listers, most notably: the boys from Orange County Choppers, Brandon Flowers, Kim Kardashian and president-elect Barack Obama.

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The Swiss Government’s “Ethics Committee on Non-Human Biotechnology” has recently released a report entitled “The Dignity of Living Begins With Regard to Plants.” The twenty-four page expose proposes the notion that plants have some rights of their own. The committee purports that snipping a road-side wildflower for no reason is actually an immoral decapitation.

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Usher is, for lack of a better term, a trendsetter and a living legend. The man has repeatedly come up with brilliant plan after brilliant plan and I’m 100% positive he could do the same for these United States. With this young, yet very experienced, man at the helm I have no doubt that America can once again be the beacon of hope to a war torn and poverty stricken world.

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According to this AFP article (I can only imagine AFP stands for Associated Fucking Press), 119 college presidents and other big wigs signed some gimmick asking for the legal drinking age to be lowered. Of course, some soccer mom has a huge problem with it, because she doesn’t understand how great booze is.

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I got a chance to sit down with presidential hopeful Roy Joseph Verspoor at his cottage on eastern Long Island. He was very amiable and, as you can tell by the following interview, he has a lot to say about the political environment… in 2024.