Beyond basic knowledge about your operating system, web browser and location (yea… where you live within a pretty reasonable distance), I don’t know too much about you guys – our readers. What I can surmise though, is there are about 100 people reading every day. I think it’s safe to assume some of you are the same people, which means posts like this, this and this really don’t bother you. If you do take offense to posts like that, read no further. – DJ

So, yesterday I slammed the Wall Street Journal’s dumb website for not poviding me with any good news. Then I actually went there. This is what I got. Now, I’ve made my views on organized religion pretty public – really I hate all religion, but those which are “organized” give me a very big, fat, bloated target to take aim at. Now, Pope Benedict has put his foot so far into his Nazi mouth, he’s likely to shit shoe leather later today.

Good golly, I sure wish I could take credit for this one.

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On this past week’s show I mentioned this article. It got me thinking about a few things. My first thought was that if I started now, I could probably have my own sizeable organization by the time I’m sixty. After my brain shot that down, I thought “Why don’t I live in Italy?” to which my brain responded “Because you don’t speak Italian”. Then I thought about one of my arch nemeses – the arch dioceses. I came up with this venn diagram to compare the (stereotypical) organized crime and some organized religions.

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Why do I kiss the ground that Axl Rose walks on? Because he sings like he means it – right down to the “YOWZA!” at the end of “Mr. Brownstone”. I guess there’s something to be said for what everyone’s musician father tells them when their guitar is too loud: “You can’t have loud without quiet.” But fuck that, if you’re making music that you’re passionate about, why don’t you show it? I’m sick of pussy bands and everyone else should be too.

Without further ado, I present my 5 Least Enthusiastic Singers of All Time. See if you can guess which of the following snore-inducing crooners inspired this list.

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