There is a ton of evidence stacking up against me and it’s high time I acknowledge it. I’m becoming a piece of white trash human garbage. In the four years since I’ve left High School, I have absolutely let the semi-freedom of college destroy me as a person. While, I’m very comfortable with the latest incarnation of me, I think it’s important to look back at where I came from.

Here’s the earliest picture of me on Facebook:

Look at this sweet boy with his girlfriend enjoying a delicious lollipop after a day at the mall. Oh, look he has a Metallica cap on. You bought it where? Hot Topic? Precious.

I dare you to follow the jump and keep reading.

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If you find the title of this article even remotely juvenile or questionable do not read any further (unless you like that sort of thing).

I have a very decidedly problematic relationship with farts – I simultaneously find them horrifically disgusting and uncontrollably laugh out loud funny. I think I’ve finally figured out their secret, though. And I’ve done it with the power of math. Read more »