I’ve found that making up systems is pretty easy. It must be one of those human impulses, to find a sense of logic in everything. Of course none of it is true. I don’t really buy into many systems of thought used to explain human emotions. For example, maybe you’ve heard of psychological term “displacement,” which is an unconscious defense mechanism whereby the mind redirects affects from an object felt to be dangerous or unacceptable to an object felt to be safe or acceptable. So, when your Mom loses her job she comes home and beats your Dad. OK, I guess we can use a term to describe that emotional reaction- but I’m always a little wary of these things. The same goes for dream interpretation. Yes, I think dreams can tell you things, but sometimes people can be too quick to apply a simple system of logic to the infinitely more complicated processes of the psyche.

Having said that, here’s a system I’ve developed (in about 4 minutes) to describe the intricacies of love (feel free to comment on the variety of flaws and over all under-development in the comments). I’m calling it the F.A.I.L-S.A.F.E system of romantic development. Let me explain:

The system is divided into two parts. The first, F.A.I.L., outlines what I imagine to be the ideal person to start a relationship with and then explains why this person cannot exist. The second, S.A.F.E, offers a more realistic set of qualities to pursue in the opposite (or same) sex.

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Our friends across the pond, Mother England, have recently sunk into national tormoil after one of Britain’s top intelligence secret agents, James Bond, registered for an account on the popular web page Twitter. Bond, who is also known as Agent 007, claims he joined the site just to, “network and stay up to date on what Ryan Seacrest was doing.” However, Bond’s own updates have begun to undercut the secrecy of some highly classified British operations around the globe and Parliament is not happy.

One of Bond’s several compromising “tweets.”

Story continues after the jump…

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I recently downloaded season two of 30 Rock and was treated to the hilarious episode titled “Greenzo.” Man, that Alec Baldwin/Tina Fey combination is something else. They legitimately make me laugh out loud. The guest star in this episode, however, makes me want to give myself a spinal tap. Similarly, I downloaded the first two episodes of the current season of Scrubs. Again, the cast is generally pretty brilliant and again, the guest star gives me chills from being so unfunny. These two guest “stars” have one thing in common (besides the ability to make me wretch in front of my TV). They were both main characters on the disturbingly popular Friends.

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