We don’t have much to be proud of at smartassradio.com: we have a horrendously designed site, no motivation to update it, and I’ve done nothing but lose money over the course of it’s lifetime on the Internet. Most disappointingly, no one looks at smartassradio.com. But today we finally have some site statistics that make me smile. Is my SEO work paying off? No. Did I finally get that long lost AdSense check? Nope. Are more people listening to the podcast? A resounding ‘fuck no’. Nay, today isn’t about accomplishing goals. It’s about the absurd search terms that brought a handful of people to the site this morning.

Behold:

This is a list of search terms that brought people to the site today.

best looking pussy – 4 views
fighting irish – 3 views
carmen electra no clothes – 2 views
best looking vagina – 2 views
urkel – 2 views
egyptian girls – 2 views
cheddar – 2 views
fighting – 2 views
irish – 2 views

That’s a hell of a list.

As everyone should know, Charles Barkley was arrested for DUI on New Year’s Eve while on his way to an “amorous encounter” (woah! that sounds hot and heavy!). What information what not made readily available (at least not to this member of the celeb-driven blogosphere) was the fact that Sir Charles was leaving a party where he was joined by Michael Strahan and Jaleel White. It should come as no surprise that Jaleel finds himself in the spotlight after years of dormancy, I had, in fact, made a passing reference to Steve Urkel in my last scientific report. With all due respect, Mr. Colbert, you haven’t the slightest clue as to what it means to give people a cultural “bump”. But I digress, what follows is a word for word account of the conversation Jaleel White had with Charles “Not Gnarls” Barkley.

Clearly, this guy knows a thing or two about being responsible while you party.

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