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What The Fuck Is Happening In The Music Industry

Hello everyone. Sorry for the brief hiatus, I’ve had a very busy week fulfilling my “real life” obligations. Nevertheless, I am glad to be back to my “fake life.” Tonight DJ and I will be on the radio doing our thang. Be sure to tune in, WFNP.org for the live webcast or 88.7 FM if you happen to live in the scenic Hudson Valley. Or, for the thoreauvians out there who don’t own a computer or radio, you can just call us at 845-257-3090 anytime from 8pm-11pm EST tonight with something to say. FUN!

Anyway, when I said earlier that I’ve been busy doing “real life” obligations what I meant was I’ve been busy making out with Rihanna since Saturday night. Yes, its true. On Saturday, Chris Brown and MC Shakey-shakes (spelling?) fought DJ and myself. In a wacky turn of event DJ and I came out on top. Want to hear all the juicy details? Listen to the show tonight for full coverage.

And that’s not the only thing that has the music industry on its back like a turtle in the rain. Apparently, this week everything has just been going bonkers. Here’s some of the latest WTF’s of the music industry.

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Continue on to read about the Hold Steady, Dave Matthews Band, Ryan Adams and the most outrageous “Super Group” I’ve ever heard of.

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A Recent AIM Conversation I Had With Rihanna

As many of you have read in my previous posts, I have, in the past, been involved with Barbadian pop singer Rihanna. Sadly, our relationship was short lived- I wanted to take things slow and Rihanna, still young and frisky, was overly eager and moving too quickly for my taste. While we still talked with some regularity, we began to drift apart. Eventually, Rihanna met her new beau, Chris Brown. I was happy for her of course, and was glad she had finally found someone more compatible. I hadn’t really given the whole thing a second thought until this week when I found out Mr. Brown had criminally assaulted Ms. Fenty (the last name isn’t as attractive) leaving her bruised, cut and choked unconscious. Needless to say I was up in arms over the entire thing and took it as a call to action. So, I talked to Rihanna on AIM three days after hearing about it. Conversation below (Rihanna’s screen name is EllaEllaElla88 and mine is MintPsyzique71).

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What Not To Listen To: Papa Roach

My last installment of “What Not To Listen To: Static X” was featured on the old site and was one of the few things that didn’t make it over to the new one when we switched last August. So, I’ll be posting that as soon as I find the original document.

What Not To Listen To is my opportunity to pick a horrible, obviously hated band and just tear them to shreds for both musical and non-musical reasons. Wayne Static and Static X had it coming from day one and so has Papa Roach. I understand the easiness of tearing down each of these bands, but I’m gonna do it anyway.

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This is not photoshopped.

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Things They’ll Find When I’m Dead

This article from the Telegraph (quite possibly my favorite news source) is a heartwarming tale of a widow finally finding out what was in her husband’s mysterious trunk. It had always been locked and he never showed her what was inside. When she opened it, what would she find? Gold Deblumes? The body of his first wife? Something sexually explicit which when written the context of a blog post seems really immature after you finish laughing at it? No, she found a box full of his favorite toys which he kept since the 20s. The fucking 20s. I wonder what people will find out about me when I’m maggot food? …Besides the unspeakable atrocities which are the contents of my three current hard drives.

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Why I’m So Tan

People have been asking me so I figured I would explain myself publicly. Yes, it’s true. I am now much tanner than I usually am. My buff bronze physique has been catching a lot of eyes, but it has also been garnering a lot of questions. Well, I went to Florida that’s why I’m so tan. At least that’s the short story, there is more to it I guess…

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A Letter to the Editor of OK! Weekly

Roy and I moved into a new apartment on New Year’s Eve and the previous tenants left an entire month’s worth of coupons, bills and magazines in our mailbox. Among the magazines were two copies of Vibe, two copies of Entrepreneur and four copies OK! Weekly, the lesser and perhaps even more obnoxious version of Us Weekly. As I made my way through these three magazines, I caught myself thoroughly enjoying Entrepreneur, feigning interest in Vibe, and throwing a bigger and bigger fit with each new page of OK! So, I decided to write a letter to the editor pointing out just a few of the most glaring flaws in the publication they so brazenly put their name on. What follows is actually what I emailed susan@okmagazine.com (the editor in chief).

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SmartassRadio 39: Interview: Andrew W.K.

No one has mastered the art of partying like Andrew W.K. For those who are unaware, he’s just released a compilation of his monthly advice column in Japan, has been featured in the January ’09 Esquire and is basically my new messiah. For those who haven’t had the pleasure, an Andrew W.K. party is truly a religious experience. Click here for tour dates.

What follows is our chat before the show, a photo gallery of winnebago/live shots and a full transcription of the interview (yeah, we’re starting to actually do some work around here). Enjoy!

 

Click here for .mp3

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If the picture browser is taking too long and you’re dying to see the rest click here for a raw gallery.

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The transcription is after the jump!

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