Anyone who has read the site before knows that I am a tremendous fan of the Star Wars series. Actually, I just did a quick search of the site and it looks like I have no posts up that focus on Star Wars…interesting, I distinctly remember comparing Kevin Federline to a fallen AT-AT walker, but I guess that was just a pleasant dream I once had. Well, though I have no previous blog to prove it to you, trust me, I am a tremendous fan of the Star Wars series. I consider my knowledge of the movies (particularly the good three) to be fairly encyclopedic. I will admit that once those three prequels came out I did start losing touch and I imagine an expert could get some trivia past me. Nonetheless, I remain a huge fan of the saga, so you can imagine my surprise when I went into the cinema today and saw that…BOOM!…there is a new Star Wars out right now!!!
I couldn’t believe my eyes and immediately ran to the ticket counter without thinking twice. I said, “Ma’am I’ll take one adult ticket for the next showing of Star Wars!!” The woman started ringing me up, then paused a second and said, “Wait do you mean–” But I cut her off, “Ma’am I mean exactly what I said, you are looking at the biggest Star Wars fan around!!” She seemed confused, probably at the intensity of my fandom, but handed me the ticket anyway and reminded me to “Enjoy the show.” To which I said, “Thank you ma’am, and may the force be with you.” Why? Because I’m hilarious and that’s a hilarious thing to say before you go see the new Star Wars!!!
Now I got into the theater a bit late, because originally I had come to see Dance Flick, so I missed the opening credits. Also I should note that the theater was PACKED OUT. I had to sit all the way at the top in the back row. Really it wasn’t the best seat to see one of my favorite franchises ever, the people around me were loud and I think I may have missed a lot of the key dialogue. Either way it’s totally fine. The visuals provided that vintage Star Wars zing and I plan on going back to see the film as soon as possible.
While this movie was definitely cool and obviously light-years better than Star Wars I, II and III, it took the concept of Star Wars in a whole new direction. For one thing, the movie starts out with what seems to be a young Anakin Skywalker driving a sports car across the surface of an Earth-like planet, likely Alderaan. Seeing this I was sure that George Lucas was going to just be beating us over the head the entire movie: yes, we get it, Anakin is a rebellious Jedi, enough already. But I was pleasantly surprised to see that Lucas didn’t do that at all! The movie moves to another classic cantina scene. This one wasn’t quite as good as the original; there were not really too many aliens. Instead there were just a bunch of young dudes in red uniforms, also a black chick (supposedly Mace Windu’s daughter?) who became pretty important to the plot.
So anyway, some old Senator convinces Anakin to join up with the Jedi Academy. He does and everything goes good and they show him using the force to beat a flight simulator, very cool stuff. The movie seemed to be focusing on Anakin too much, but before it got overbearing a new character was introduced, or so I thought! His name is Spoke, and I at first I didn’t really know who he was, but after listening to him for awhile I figured out he was a droid, and then I realized that he was the guy inside C-3PO!!! It was so nuts to see him on the screen! I didn’t even know that there was a guy inside C-3PO, but here he was, talking just like C-3PO. Everything he said was so formal and logical and nerdy, vintage C-3PO! And now we learned that he has pointy ears, just like the elves in Lord of the Rings! So weirrrrrrd. Anyway, C-3PO gets all mad at Anakin, which makes sense because Anakin has kind of been ignoring C-3PO for so many movies, so why wouldn’t he be upset?
Anakin still looking angsty.
So the movie keeps going and I missed some scenes because I had been eating these nachos and I spilled a good amount of nacho cheese on my swimsuit and had to leave to go to the bathroom. I came back and BOOM everyone was in space. YEAH!!! STAR WARS ROCKS!!! They zoomed into light speed and the graphics looked sick!!! I wasn’t sure what ship it was, it looked like the Y-Wing mixed with the Millenium Falcon, in other words….AWESOME! I love the new ships you get to see with all these movies.
So, they run into these bounty hunters who want to kidnap non-robot C-3PO. I mean we have seen this happening since Jabba the Hutt’s palace, vintage Star Wars! So cool! One of the commanders goes to the enemy ship and gets kidnapped by these bounty hunters and then Anakin and another guy have to go blow up this drill thing. And get this: the other guy is Asian!!! Whoa!!! Now the reason I mention this, and fans will know, is because there has never ever, ever, ever been an Asian guy in any of the Star Wars movies! The bad new ones included! In the back of the theater I was just like, “Yeah! This Star Wars totally kicks ass and doesn’t discriminate!!!!”
Some more cool shit happens and then the bounty hunters did some shit and blew up a planet!!! At this point I realized, of course, this must be where Anakin (young Darth Vader, duh) got the idea to build the Death Star to blow up more planets. So, the bad guys blew up this planet just like in Star Wars: A New Hope and then Anakin and non-robot C-3PO get in a huge fight, right in front of Mace Windu’s daughter. Well it gets so bad that Anakin gets ejected from the Millenium-Wing ship so he can cool off. Literally! His escape pod lands on a completely frozen planet, obviously Hoth. As always the scenes on Hoth were wicked cool. At first it’s just Anakin walking the tundra (just like Luke does later, awesome parallel structure George!!), but then we get to see some sweet aliens and this crazy thing that looks like the Rancor from Jabba the Hutt’s palace. What?! So awesome!!! Check out the clip:
Anyway, I don’t want to ruin the entire movie. I’m a huge Star Wars fan and think everyone should get out to the theaters to check this one out, like I said it blows the previous three attempts out of the water. Do not worry about the ending either, there is an awesome space battle, Lucas does not disappoint this time!! There are plenty of blasters and photon torpedos to go around. OH I CAN’T HELP MYSELF!!! SPOILER ALERT: They do end up blowing up the bounty hunter ship, just like the Death Star explosion. Huge!!! Then Anakin and C-3PO end up being friends again, just like Luke and Han became friends! And there is a big medal awarding ceremony, just like the end of A New Hope. Vintage Star Wars and totally AWESOME!!!
