My Top 6 Albums of 2008 and 2 Other Useless Lists Revealing My Questionable Taste In Modern Music
Frequently I find myself gazing at this site. This magnificent creation which I and a few co-conspirators have grown from literally nothing to an unstoppable force of comedy and music destroying an Internet filled to the brim with bullshit. However, when I lovingly bear witness to my creation, I oftentimes wonder “why is it called SmartassRadio.com?” Is it because we’re a bunch of smartasses parading around the radio industry and internet with a sword of wit and a shield of good-natured joshing? Is it because we feel that Internet radio needs another batch of smartasses and shock jocks? No, neither of these answers suffices. In fact, the real reason is far greater than I or even the Internet at large can comprehend. The real answer is this: James and I drunkenly bought the domain like two years ago and now we’re stuck with it.
So, here we are: we have the word “radio” in our URL and I find myself looking at a site without a single music related post on the entire front page. So here, for everyone’s enjoyment, is the list everyone’s been waiting for. What do I, DJ Scully, creator and overlord of SmartassRadio.com, think the best albums of the past year are?
Perhaps my greatest weakness as a human being is my inability to listen to an entire album straight through. 2008 found me trying my darndest to listen to as many albums all the way through as I could stomach. These are the albums I found most enjoyable from front to back. They’re in no particular order, but I think I saved my most intelligent comments for last. I guess.
Jeff Loomis Zero Order Phase – This album made me want to listen to guitar-based music again. I’ve never sat through an entire Nevermore album, but I think 2009 is the year for me to get into them. I had no expectations when I got a hold of this album and what I got was essentially what I always want Buckethead to do, write a fucking great instrumental album first, then come up with cool solos and wacky shit. In addition to his lead chops, Jeff Loomis wrote some goddamned catchy-as-fuck riffs that will kick your ass and get stuck in your head for days. Plus a guest bass solo from Michael Manring, and some guest guitar work from Ron Jarzombek. I wish I loved Marty Friedman‘s new album half as much.
Bigelf Cheat The Gallows – Am I the only one listening to this album? Seriously, Blabbermouth gave their debut, Hex, a fucking 10/10 and then didn’t even look at this one. Is this album (and the last one) overly derivative? Maybe. Does it still make me wanna get bonged out of my skull and put on a pair of huge headphones? Maybe. It’s been my go-to album for about two months now and I don’t see that stopping for a long time.
Girl Talk Feed The Animals – I don’t know if I should put this on the “full albums I love to actually sit through list” because it’s such a schizophrenic amalgamation of everything – something I desperately needed. He samples OutKast, Roy Orbison, Temple of the Dog, Huey Lewis, Ludacris, Rage Against the Machine and Edwin Starr. In the first song. Oh yeah, and he did an interview with us. The only imeem listing I could find was a playlist of the entire album. Roy and I recommend “Set it Off”
Protest the Hero Fortress – I almost completely forgot about this album, which is completely ridiculous of me. I forced my coworkers and customers to listen to this album all summer over at Ye Olde Guitar Asylum (my summer/winter job since ’03). Loud, fast guitars/bass/drums/keyboard: Check, check, check, check. Aggressive yet melodic and discernable vocals: Check and check. Great songs: CHECK. The progressive nature of the songs, particularly the vocals, blew me away so hard that I think the only way for me to give a new Dream Theater album an objective listen is if they fired James LaBrie and hired Rody Walker. Maybe. “The Dissentience” and “Limb from Limb” are probably the songs I played out the hardest all year. And I still can get enough of either one.
Lil’ Wayne Tha Carter III – I would be lying if I told you I even pretended to like Lil’ Wayne before this album. I would also be lying if told you the sole reason I downloaded it was anything other than reading a review in Newsday on a Sunday afternoon. This album helped me through most of my hours at my second summer job shoveling rocks and mud in Queens. It also helped me get ready for many a debaucherous evening in the Big Apple. It’s an album that takes a second to understand what the hell is going on, but once you do (and if you get fucked up enough) it all makes sense. Every single word.
Guns n’ Roses Chinese Democracy – I’ve witheld any statements about this album (for the most part) because I really just didn’t know how to approach it. For those who are unaware, I am an unabashed GnR fanboy and I’ve been eagerly awaiting this album and listening to the old demos for a few years now. I think I’ve finally figured out how to say what I want to say about it though. Axl Rose writes unbelievable songs. The album suffers from too much everything, which is to be expected from an album which took two thirds of my life to write and record. BUT the songs are really really beautiful. You can easily get any one of the 14 tracks stuck in your head on any given day. For example, I hated “Sorry” and “This I Love” when I first heard them. But weeks have passed me by and here I am still singing bits and pieces of both in my head. There’s gotta be something to that. Furthermore, when else, outside of my own wet dream, have Buckethead and Bumblefoot ever played together, let alone on the same tracks! FUCK! This is what I was referring to earlier – Buckethead rules in the context of a well written pop/rock/metal song, but the overwhelming majority of his solo stuff just bores the hell out of me.
The albums are worth mentioning:
Metallica Death Magnetic - I can only hope for some reason they record this album being played live and release that. I’m sure it will sound better.
Ghengis Tron Board up The House - I think one day I’m going to compile a list of bands with shitty, shitty names that write great albums.
Trivium Shogun - A great return to form, but I just don’t have enough to say about it to merit a top 6 spot.
The following are albums I bought or downloaded which I just haven’t listened to, but I have a feeling I’m going to be raving about it a year late like I usually do (see also: Lamb of God‘s Sacrament):
TV On The Radio Dear Science – Topped everyone’s list. I haven’t made it through the whole thing yet.
AC/DC Black Ice - Supposedly their best since The Razor’s Edge, but I just can’t listen to an entire AC/DC album anymore. I did that every day of every year from ’01 – ’03
Kings of Leon Only By the Night – I listened to like one track (maybe), and I wasn’t impressed. What’s up with all the praise this thing is getting heaped on it?
03/24/2009
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