Top 5 Times I Passed Out And Someone Took A Picture
I like to drink. I also like to lie on my back. Obviously this is a lethal combination at school. Frequently, people will wake up covered in rude remarks, cartoon penises or even real balls on their face. Given my size and temper I guess I’ve been (mostly) spared such ridiculousness (actually, it probably has more to do with my friends better comedic sense). Anyway – there are a bunch of pictures floating around the internet of me passed out in various poses. Here are the best 5
So this is the one that started it all. I was passed out on my friend Amanda’s couch. The details of the night are a bit hazy but I can remember that immediately preceding this I:
- walked outside
- fell over while peeing
- fell asleep in the mud
- walked back inside
- threw up into a bowl
Amanda later commented that her and her boyfriend really liked me at first because I seemed like I could hold my liquor… What a horrible first impression.
This is the aforementioned Amanda. It is also after (or during?) a Halloween party… I think. If it is what I think it is, I was dressed as a generic TV cop from the 70s and it was the second time my best buddy from home, John, was visiting New Paltz. We drank a handle of Jack Daniels between us. Somehow, I feel like I had a lot more than he did, because he was the one waking ME up from a drunken stupor and not the other way around. Thanks John… and Amanda… and whoever took this picture.
I’d like to take a second to point out my awful double chin, skin color, sideburns and hair length. What am I ever thinking when I leave the house?
Well, I’m looking a little better here. But, Andre and Justin decided a penis with the words “Cock, Hello!” would be funny to write on my arm. That and the stuffed animal were my prizes for winning the beer pong tournament. This is the first passed-out-pic taken outside of New Paltz – this time on the mean streets of Brooklyn.
This was taken, quite expertly, by Pete on our way to Florida this past spring break. Note the still pubescent facial hair and comically gaping mouth. Although it’s a myth that the average person eats up to 4 spiders in their sleep a year, I’m positive I’m acquiring a significant amount of protein via mosquitoes, spiders and whatever else might come near my face at night. This is also the brother picture to one of our friend Luke in a similiar pose in the back seat.
It’s alright though, because there is video of Pete singing, which I took while he thought I was sleeping a few minutes after this picture was taken.
My favorite of the 5. This was taken 3 or 4 days ago at a party to which Roy and I showed up in full karate gear. I would normally think someone else doing that is stupid, but since it’s us it was brilliant. Roy also convinced me to carve a fu manchu before we hit the town. I really feel my facial hair is coming into its own. There are no more blonde or thin spots. It really adds to the “I’m too old for this” look of the picture.
There you have it… me passing out everywhere.
01/28/2009
[...] asked to turn your brain off for a few minutes a week, which I feel I was already good at (see this). But no, Friends took me to new, worse-than-blackout drunk levels. From here on out, I refuse to [...]