Nothing has ever made me want to buy a Vanilla Ice album more. Rob Van Winkle, you are really turning this thing around. Please continue to let Virgin Mobile tell you what to do, they clearly have a better idea than you do.
This ad got me thinking about other artists I would like an apology from and why.
U2
First I want a very sincere and lengthy apology from U2. I love Joshua Tree as much as any other idiot and I will acually put it on when I’m driving somewhere by myself – it does sound fucking brilliant and the Edge really wrote some awesome guitar parts. In 1987. Until now, I had no idea the album was their fifth, but that fact proves my point even further. Good music doesn’t just happen and it certainly doesn’t happen every time. Every one needs to stop buying the bullshit these clowns have been churning out. No one has ever written anything better about the current state of u2’s music better than the original hate-mongering curmudgeon himself, Maddox.
Kanye West
To call my relationship with Kanye West and his music “love/hate” would be a gross understatement. I might be wrong in this assumption, but from what I gather, fans love his music but tend to hate the things he says. I hate half of his catalogue – Late Registration does absolutely nothing for me despite being snugly nestled between two gems (College Dropout and Graduation). 808s and Heartbreak actually makes me want to chop off my own thumbs to prevent myself fom ever using my iPod again on the off chance someone mistakenly uploaded this lackluster, boring pile of whale shit to it and I, in a state of inebriation beyond anything Bon Scott or John Bonham have ever experienced, wanted to listen to it. On the other hand, statements like this make me love him all over again.
Taking Back Sunday/Chris Carrabba/Brand New/Something Corporate
Not only did you ALL contribute to making high school just a little more unbearable, but because you were mercilessly shoved down my throat for so long I have actually developed an affinity for some of the embarassingly insincere garbage you spewed from your horrifically underdeveloped psyches.
The Mars Volta
The first time I was exposed to the Mars Volta was at a Red Hot Chili Peppers concert in high school. Again, these guys just made things a little more difficult for me. They literally played straight up noise for the entirety of their set, which lasted four and a half months. I have never, in my concert-going career have ever before or since actually covered my ears at a show. The sounds coming from the stage were actually that bad and so loud I couldn’t talk over and ignore them. Then, Frances the Mute came out and all was forgiven. I truly loved that album and everything about it. I thought it was the most genius shit I had heard since the first time I popped Led Zep II into my Walkman. Then they wrote Amputechture (what that word means is still beyond me), started playing two hour long songs at their shows and requesting that people not smoke at their shows.
All you guys suck it and you need to grovel at my feet for forgiveness.
Sincerely,
DJ
[ad]
I am the Grand Imperial Wizard of SmartassRadio.com. If you have any issues with the site - web issues, content complaints, requests of any sort email me: DJ[at]SmartassRadio.com
hahahaaaaa.
thats great.