What Can Be Implied About The Character of the Current Cast of Saturday Night Live Based On The Show’s Opening Credits
This year the opening credits to Saturday Night Live open with Jewish me, Fred Armisen. Quite like me, Fred is seen leafing through a box of vinyl records, presumably in New York City. It is clear that the record store is not very organized because the titles are ordered PEARL JAM, SEX PISTOLS, JOY DIVISION. The closest sensible reason I can think of for that way of alphabetizing is that the second word in the second pair begins with the first letter of the first word in the first pair and the third pair begins with the first letter of the second word in the first pair, but that pattern doesn’t continue unless you replace Joy Division with someone like Joe Satriani, which is obviously stupid because why would Fred Armisen listen to him? Pearl Jam and the Sex Pistols seem like viable options, especially because Fred has been known to guest star in quirky and fun little indie music videos, which I will not link to.
If you stick with me you will be replaying this video a lot. Don’t worry the 2009 version still applies.
So, as soon as I thought, “Hey, Fred Armisen probably would like those three bands, and they are not in order…does that imply that he requested them himself?” Another part of me thought, “Well they probably have the show plan out the scenarios to create an appearance.” I went so far as to google this: “Do saturday night live cast members have a say in how they are presented in the opening credits?” It didn’t answer my question, but I did learn that Fred Armisen is the only cast member over 40 years old. Oh boy! Could the show be trying to make him appear, perhaps, younger! I don’t really care because I like Fred Armisen, because he looks like a Jewish version of me if I got a hair cut.
Then we see Will Forte, usually for the last time. In a very telling way he comes after montage footage that includes someone throwing out the trash and a near up-skirt. He is chatting it up at the corner store with some cutie. How do we know he is going to seal the deal with this fine waitress? He’s eating a taco. But wait a second Will Forte! A pooch suddenly jumps onto the counter to chow down on a nacho chip! Will Forte looks to the cameraman with that all-knowing Will Forte look. “Oh boy,” that smirky smile seems to say, “I’ve been dressing like a woman all season on 30 Rock.”
The camera flashes to Bill Hader! He is playing chess in the park against a black person. This anonymous black person knocks out his king. Bill Hader kindly accepts defeat, because he is no hater. He’s just Bill Hader. Still his acting during the handshake is amateur at best, and his glance to the camera does not help matters. Am I convinced that Bill Hader is genuinely happy that he lost that chest match? No, I am not. In fact I think Bill Hader is deeply dissatisfied, and I would not be surprised if he challenged that black person to a rematch.
Seth Meyers is the next to appear in a way that is completely devoid of context. Seth is seen in a black velvet shirt, leaning against a stood with a blonde in front of him. Then we see a close up of his face. No one sees him again until Weekend Update, which is fine. Seth Meyers is apparently the head writer, yet his opening credit blurb has the least plot? I think we’ve found the source of the problem.
The next frame is truly bizarre. Hotrod starring, Joanna Newsom penetrating Jew, Andy Samberg, is seen downing saki with a bunch of Asian businessmen, one of which is obviously wasted and grabs Andy in a headlock! What exactly is this suppose to say? Andy Samberg, pioneer of the digital short, was inspired by techno-savvy Asian culture? I wouldn’t rule that out. What kind of wheeling and dealing is going on during these three seconds? How far passed his knees in predicament is Andy Samberg? Enough for another movie or two written by his buddies Nerdo and Max? Probably.
Then things get surreal. Apparent NBA star Jason Sudeikis is seen lobbing up some baskets! We see SNL return to its racial competition. Bill Hader may have lost his chest match, but Jason Sudeikis scores against two black guys in basketball! After confidently scoring two for his pale twosome Jason tosses his sweaty white towel at the camera, as if to say, “Deal with this.”
Then we see Kenan Thompson on a NYC bridge giving out free high-fives. He smiles at the camera.
The montage of main cast members ends with Kristen Wigg. By the end of the opening I realized two things. 1) The cast members are introduced alphabetically by last name. 2) Kristen Wigg is the only girl in the main cast, and she is probably also the funniest.
It seems like SNL head writer Seth Meyers also noticed this and decided to objectify Ms. Wigg a bit. She closes out the casting call by pressing her boobs against a wall in a bar hallway. Then we see her drinking a water, presumably thinking of something hilarious that Seth Meyers won’t acknowledge or ever air.